Please review and score my Writing Task 2 essay

Many people argue that young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as listening to music and ging to the theatre and less time on sports. Personally, I don't agree with this standpoint.

As can be seen, cultural activities play an important role in rising the human possibility of discovering, creating and the human's complete development as these arise human emotions that are very necessary in both human's mental and physical health. However, playing sports is the best measure for us to get into shape while cultural activities can do just a little. That’s the first reason why we shouldn’t discriminate against sports.

Second, sports are crucial to the human being as it improves people’s health both mentally and physically so it shouldn’t be overlooked, so should cultural activities. Everyone should do a mixture of two to bring about better effects and make more appeal. There are many interesting and efficient sports which assist us in getting fit like soccer, badminton, tennis... that we can give some tries. Lastly, like cultural activities, sport is also a kind of art. So many sport types need preserving as it’s been fading its popularity .

In conclusion, it's clear that there are various reasons why both cultural activities and sports are crucial to people’s live. Therefore, young people should equally pay attention to both of them.