Please review and score my ielts writing task 2!!

Please kindly correct and score the essay for me, thank you. I really want to know how much score I would get.

Topic: Most developed countries spend a large proportion of their health budgets on expensive medical technology and procedures. This money should be spent instead on health education to keep people well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In today’s rapidly developing society, health is becoming one of the most prominent concerns. Many suggestions have been given to guarantee people’s health and most countries choose to invest in medical technology and procedures. However, instead, health education can be applied more effectively in order to protect people from illness and diseases. Each method has its undeniable advantages.

First of all, it is clear that advanced medical technology contributes greatly to the research of diseases. For hundreds of years, epidemics have been springing up without a sign of decline. Therefore, with the help of high medical technology, new viruses and bacteria can be discovered and studied for prevention. Another reason to prove latest medical apparatuses relevant is the fact that it ensures a proper diagnosis. As a result, patients will receive appropriate treatments, saving a lot of their time and money.

Despite the benefits of upgrading medical facilities, it is essential for the government to spread knowledge and information regarding health care to the community. As society grows, people change their lifestyles, which directly affects their health. Bad habits like consuming fast food, alcohol, cigarettes and performing poor postures can lead to serious sicknesses relating to blood pressure and vital organs. Hence, if the community is fully aware of the consequences, these problems can be easily reduced. Furthermore, educating people to take right actions towards diseases like AIDS, bird flu and other infections would make vast contributions in avoiding them.

In conclusion, whether it is to invest in medical technology or to provide health education, both ways can better people’s lives. To my way of thinking, the government should balance the two methods in order to acquire the best results.