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Hurt back Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review and score my IELTS essay :333

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https://scontent.fhph1-3.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/278976358_180273451017529_1585048869035616223_n.png?_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=LCE19qNj8YkAX_OhNsq&tn=h27sWyu-hHf-zY9e&_nc_ht=scontent.fhph1-3.fna&oh=00_AT9WC-RaZUNI4LxP8y9rxM-HxmjMSUVJJKroCLlJy37c8w&oe=62750623

The graph gives comparison among the percentages of three mains figures consuming fruit and vegetable daily during 2002,2006 and 2012.

It is clear that the largest amount of green food was invariably eaten by women, while the converse was true among children.

Throughout the timeline, the trends in the proportions of both genders having adequate quantities of fruit and vegetable in a daily basis were quite identical. However, women's rise considerably with an increase of more than one-tenth in 2006. Eventually, males' and females' data remained unchange in about 23% and 25% respectively. It can be seen that women always overwhelmed men in number when it comes to keeping a healthy diet.

Getting back to the details, children clearly were the least likely group tp involve dailyrecommended amount of vegetarian food. As recorded, their statistics stayed somewhat as half as the grown-up's during the period. In detail, there was a jumb in their figure to 18% in 2006 before it stabilized in 2010.


  

Top answer

The bar graph compares the proportions of men, women, and children in the UK who ate the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables gives comparison among the percentages of three mains figures consuming fruit and vegetable daily during 2002 , 2 006 and 2012. It is clear that the largest amount of green food was invariably eaten by women accounted for the highest percentages in all years , while the converse was true among for children. ----------------------------------- The rest of your description is messy, unrgrammatical and confusing.

  • The bar graph compares the proportions of men, women, and children in the UK who ate the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables gives comparison among the percentages of three mains figures consuming fruit and vegetable daily during 2002 , 2 006 and 2012.
  • It is clear that the largest amount of green food was invariably eaten by women accounted for the highest percentages in all years , while the converse was true among for children.
  • ----------------------------------- The rest of your description is messy, unrgrammatical and confusing.
  • This is not a difficult graph to describe.
  • All you need to do is write three small paragraphs, one for each of the given years, or one for each group, and you should not complicate your phrasing.
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The bar graph compares the proportions of men, women, and children in the UK who ate the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables gives comparison among the percentages of three mains figures consuming fruit and vegetable daily during 2002, 2006 an

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