Please Review And Mark My IELTS Task 2

Some people think the social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society . To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

The advent of social platforms, for instance Facebook or Twitter in the early decades of the 21st century, is a great revolution in our daily life. While they are beneficial to some purposes, however, I agree that they have detrimental effects on each person as well as local communities

In terms of individual, the online social media hurts the lifestyle unhealthy self-esteem. Many people, specifically the youngsters, spend excessive amount of time on surfing webs or chatting with friends rather than being with family or taking outdoor activities. Sitting in front of screens, of smart devices, including laptops, smartphones, computers in continuous hours due to eye-silight issues, also, digestive system problems. For instance, the rate of myope has gained constantly in recent times, in some developing countries, like Japan.

.

In terms of society, one serious problem that can arise people socialising online is that it can lead to isolation. Community as whole is becoming disjointed and fragmented which is as no longer forming closing and supportive relationship. Furthermore, the tendency of using social networking sites makes conditions for cyber crime to steal national security information

To conclude, although social networks have positive impacts in some ways, they brings about too much problems for both people and community.

Thanks for your help!