Please review and comment on my essay. Thank you a lots.

Writing task 2:

Nowadays most people learn academic study in university but others think that we should be encouraged to learn vocational skills more. Do you agree or disagree?

Job-related skills are getting more and more important in the way to decide individual’s success. However how to learn these skills is open question. Some people assume that university’s curriculum now is offering too much academic study and students should be encouraged to study vocational skills more. In my opinion i totally agree with this view point.

It is not hard to see that majority of college students are lack of vocational skills even after they graduated. This is result of the fact that students spend too much time at college to learn academic theories. The wasted time can be seen on hours at subjects that no more useful in student’s future jobs. For example, one of compulsory credit for Math students is Philosophy which is no related to their field. Instead of the wasted time,students could immerse themselves in applied Math, allow them to practice Math in other aspects of life. Clearly, students who possess job related skills will have more chances to get a good job in the early future.

Furthermore, health is also one of the aspect which need to be considered. Too much academic study does not only occupy majority of time of students but also put them into plenty of pressure. Students usually feel stress out with dozens of homeworks or worry to get good score. Gradually, they turn to be like robots, do not know how to operate a real job with appropriate skills.

In short,although learning academic study allow student to have a firm background, job - related skills are the key for students to succeed. And that is why university should encourage their students learn more vocational skills.