Please read my story

This is the first chapter of my story, please critisize!

A single golden feather drifted down from the sky, glinting in the bright sunlight. It left no shadow, nor could it be felt. But it was there all the same. An indicator of the magic in the world, of the pure things up above.

The street was almost empty when the golden feather fell. Only a couple of businessmen on their way home from a long day at work and a young girl were around to see it. The businessmen rubbed their eyes as if it was an illusion, and continued on, blaming it on an exhausting day at the office. The girl swiped at the feather, but felt nothing. She tried to hold it, but it went straight through her hand. She stared long and hard, and then glanced upwards into the sky. She did a double take. Up, high above her head was a cloud, golden and shiny. It looked solid, and the girl, agape, stretched out her long fingers and reached toward the sky.

The girl was called Ebony. She wasn't really a believer in spirits, but she was always open-minded. She had silky black hair, like wisps of dark smoke. She was tanned yet not dark-skinned, quiet yet deep, shy yet brave. Ebony had plenty of friends, but she would never tell a single one of them about the feather. They might think she was strange. Ebony didn't want that.

On the day that she had seen the feather, Ebony had been walking home from school the long way, so that she could avoid a friend she had been having an argument with in class that day. Every day after that, she travelled home via that route just in case she saw anything else interesting. She didn't. Because there wasn't anything. Eventually she gave up hope.

The strange forces that had caused the golden feather to fall didn't want anyone to know about them. Not the people in the other magical realms, and certainly not the people down on earth. The feather had been a mere accident. An easy mistake to make, when you used birds' plumage coated with precious metals as a currency.

A few days after Ebony started home via the shortcut again, the vice-overlord in the Realm of Light retired, and the Realm started looking for new recruits from earth to fill his place. A small Giamler, a creature with blue wings that looked like a hamster, was the only one with a suggestion. "I dropped a gold feather a while ago, and when I searched for it - using my tagfinder - I found that it had fallen to earth" he told the panel for the election of the vice. "Your tagfinder, did you say? What is that?" asked a member of the panel after a short pause. The Giamler explained that the tag finder was a device that found anything you put a tag on - and he'd put a tag on all his gold feathers.

The Giamler went back to his thatched hut that evening with an enormous job on his hands. He was to find the persistent girl who'd seen his feather and bring her back up to his realm. It was going to be an exceedingly hard job, and well he knew it. He ate a piece of his wife's homemade shortbread, then began to prepare for his trip to earth. He created a checklist to keep him focused, then pulled the 'Earth Survival List' he'd been given from between his pale blue feathers and began to pack his bags.

Ebony meandered down an alleyway, humming a random blend of pop songs. She held a plastic bag with the poster she'd made for a school project, and it twisted and writhed in the sudden gusts of wind. Something stirred in the shadows, but she laughed it off. "Not more of that silly magic again" she giggled, feeling quite brave. And magic it was, pure and strong, that leapt at her from a small air vent just above her head. The Giamler had made his move.

Ebony stood frozen to the spot, indecisive of whether she should turn and run or face up to this small hamstery thing. But it had wings. They were tiny, faded and blue but they were wings all the same. And they meant that the hamster could fly. Before she could run the Giamler addressed her. "I am the Giamler,” he announced, but his voice was squeaky and small, so Ebony leant in closer so as to hear him clearly. "Up above your head is a place called the Realm of Light. It is a wondrous place, full of amazing creatures and things to do. But we don't have a vice - overlord anymore, and we decided you were persistent enough in trying to find the feather that we could trust you for this job"

"B..b..but what would I have to do? And what about my life here on earth?

"You would have to just make sure that our realm is safe from invaders... the Dark Realm sometimes creep in, and you would have to make sure everyone was happy. That's it. And we'll just pause time! No-one will ever miss you!" Ebony gawked. "But I'm just a kid! I have a life! And how am I supposed to protect the realm? I have no idea how to fight!" She cried, glaring at the Giamler. The Giamler laughed. "Oh, don't worry, it'll all be fine. You'll find out what to do when we get there." He took her by the arm, leaving her no choice.

Ebony was on a trial run to the Light Realm, having been zapped with a transporter gun, which caused a slight stinging on her right shoulder. She'd live. Both her and the Giamer had been teleported to a dungeon-like place, painted white. It was the checkpoint for the realm. If anyone tried to sneak in the guards would find them when they went through the door. The hampster was hovering near the only exit. Ebony followed cautiously, her footsteps silent on the floor, which she assumed was made of concrete.

There was no-one there to meet her. She'd been checked three times over for dangerous items, then gone through a darkness detector, which was supposed to seek out creatures from the Dark Realm. After that she had been taken to a small room which she would share with the Giamler until the guards came to make sure she wasn't bringing any infections into the realm. She sat down on the bed, only to find that the mattress was solid. She stayed there anyway - she didn't think the chair would be any more comfy.

The Giamler, after apologising for the awful welcome, sat on the floor, his eyes shut, silent. After a little while Ebony noticed a smell. It was as if toast had been cooking for hours. A few minutes later (or what felt like it, she had no concept of time here) she saw it. A tiny wisp of black smoke coming from under the locked door. She tapped the Giamler on the shoulder, but he was engrossed, and wouldn't open his eyes. The smoke was thickening, plumes of it rising fast from beneath the door. The smell grew stronger. Ebony yelled, and knocked on the door with her fists, knowing that the guard would not come. Over by the door the smell was almost unbearable, and getting more odourous by the second.

Ebony was standing by the bed, across the room from all the smoke, when the Giamler coughed and spluttered. "Gah. Tell me next time something like this happens!" he said grumpily. Ebony tried to tell him she did, but he wasn't in the mood. "It isn't Dark Realm's doing," he told her. "It is a test of skill and courage for you." He was blunt, but Ebony wasn't really listening. Clouds were billowing into the room. She snatched the Giamler's transporter gun, aimed it at herself, and fired.

Nothing happened. Ebony looked at the tiny screen on the side of the transporter. No Battery, it flashed, beeping cheerily. She sighed and dropped it, not hearing the indignant grunt of the Giamler. 'What sort of test is this anyway?' she wondered. She move toward the dark smoke, pinching her nose. 'Where did it come from?' she wondered. 'Was it magic or was there a fire burning outside?' She went into the bathroom and ran the tap, cupping her hands underneath the cool flowing water. She dripped her way to the smoke and threw the remaining water towards the door.

The smoke which was touched by water fizzed and disappeared, but more smoke just filled its place. Ebony decided it couldn't be a fire, and wondered who could have done this. Then she had an idea. She pulled the mattress from the bed with a lot of effort, then dragged it over to the doorway and pushed it so it covered the gap where the smoke entered the room. Choking on the stench of it, she went over to the bathroom and guzzled down water untl the taste of ashes was gone from her mouth, then rinsed her face. She placed her hands under the tap once again and threw the water into the blackness. This time there was nothing to replace it, and so she continued her arduous task of washing away the smoke.

Ebony was resting on the chair when the mattress began to move slightly, and she realised someone was coming to get her out of the room. She struggled to pull away the mattress, leaving it in the middle of the floor. The door swung open, screeching with years of rust as it did so. It was only a guard, Ebony realised with dissatisfaction. The guard, like the rest of the guards Ebony had seen so far, was short and stocky. He looked like a human but his face was slate grey and his eyes were a dull silver. He had no hair, not even eyebrows.

When Ebony had been checked over she was pulled into the corridor and forced down it, towards another door. The guard eased the door open, making almost no sound. Ebony's eyes flickered around herself, watching carefully as the room came into view. It was dimly lit, but Ebony could tell someone was inside the room. Eerie silence followed. " Shh, there is someone sleeping inside" whispered the guard in warning. He picked his way across the room on his tiptoes, beckoning for the Giamler and Ebony to follow.

A sudden sound made Ebony jump. The guard had heard it too, and his face was creased with worry. There was a voice, which exuded power "Turn on the light," it commanded. Ebony blinked as brightness filled the room. Then she saw the speaker - a woman, dressed in a flattering blue robe, which was embroidered with words. Ebony inspected it, finding that it was written in symbols very much like English letters, but it didn't make any sense. 'Quiana distamiania pedlees darianig' it stated. The woman spoke again. "Welcome Ebony. Welcome to the Light Realm." As she smiled, Ebony saw her neat teeth, smelt her rose perfume. She was human.

As soon as Ebony recovered from the shock of realising that the Light Realm had a female, human overlord she was told that she was to become the vice - overlord. "What about my family? And friends? Won't I be lonely? I don't want to stay here forever!" she protested, but the guard just shrugged. The Giamler, being a little more sensitive, reminded her that time would be paused for her, and no-one would even notice her absence. "No! That won't do! I'll miss everyone on earth!" she cried, feeling brave and defiant. The actual overlord, ordered, "Take her away. She is the one we need. She will be vice-overlord!" then, with her sweeping dress and commanding attitude, left, followed by the guard. Another guard replaced him, and Ebony knew that nothing she said would help. She would have to take action.

The Giamler took her to his house, and Ebony was introduced to his wife, who was smaller than him, and had orange fur instead of brown. She handed Ebony a rucksack, and showed her to a spare room. Ebony lay thankfully on the soft bed for a while, then emptied the bag to see what was inside. She made an inventory in the diary she had been given:

She pulled out the book on the Light Realm's ancient script and tried to find out what the overlord's dress had said. After a lot of page fipping and decoding she found out. The writing had said

' everyone hail Light Realm.' Ebony sighed, disappointed that the dress had such a dull message. She scribbled it down in her diary anyway, hoping it would come in handy sometime.

Next she went downstairs, but couldn't find the Giamler or his wife anywhere. She left a note saying that she had gone out exploring on the wooden table, than opened the door and headed outside, partly wanting to explore and get some fresh air, partly wanting to learn about her surroundings in case she decided to run away.

The first thing she saw were the trees. There were thousands of trees, but none had leaves on. Instead they were covered in pricks of yellow light which glowed like the sun. She reached out and touched a branch on one of the trees, then reeled back, her hand burnt. The trees didn't just produce light, they produced heat too! Ebony wandered on, through the bright trees. Eventually she came to a tree which had no light, instead it held fruits, blue like blueberries but shaped like apples. She picked three and placed them in her bag, wary of poisonous fruit.

It was then that she realised how hungry she was. She turned around and headed back, towards the Giamler's house, where she guessed she'd be fed. Except she didn't know which direction to go in. It hadn't occured to her that she might get lost on the way, so she hadn't walked in a straight line. She ran, not knowing where she was headed, swerving around glimmering trees. And it was growing dark. She kept going, noticing that the light from the trees was growing darker as the sky darkened, and it was becoming nightime.

Ebony had been running for too long. Her feet gave way under her, and she lay on the muddy forest floor for a long time. She was overcome by fatigue, and slept, aware that the night posed danger. She couldn't resist.

The morning came quickly, and the trees began to shine again. Ebony opened her eyes wearily, trying to resist napping again. She called out. "Giamler! Giamler!" Nothing. Only her heavy breathing. She stood slowly, her legs aching from yesterday's running. She collapsed once more, calling out yet again. Nothing. But surely the Giamler was searching for her? She hoped so. Or was this another test? She sighed.

Ebony didn't know if the fire she'd lit was a good or a bad idea. She had gathered all the twigs from around her, lit a match from her rucksack, and sat near as the crackling fire started. It might alert the Giamler, but then again, it might alert someone or something else. It kept her warm, but she wondered if she might burn down the whole woods. She slept once more, trying to calm the fire a little before-hand.

This time she awoke to find someone standing over her. She (or at least, Ebony assumed it was a she) had fuzzy fur all over her, but she spoke in clear, feminine English. " You shouldn't sleep near a fire. But I can smell your fruit. And... is that grain in your bag?" Ebony nodded, stunned into silence. The girl extracted the food from Ebony's bag and showed her how to peel the fruit. "The skin is poisonous" she explained helpfully, and Ebony took note of this in the back of her diary. After that she took a twig and cooked the fruit over the fire, waiting until it was a brown colour. She left the grain for Ebony to eat later, but explained that you just put in in water over the fire to cook it.

Ebony bit into her piece of fruit carefully, enjoying the softness of the fruit between her teeth. The other girl did the same, making herself welcome and crouching by the fire. The two of them sat side by side quietly, hungrily munching their food. "What brings you so deep into the forests?" asked the other girl, through a mouthful of fruit. "I was exploring" replied Ebony simply, throwing the stone of her piece of fruit into the foilage.

Ebony had explained her situation thoroughly, while the other girl nodded thoughtfully. "Well" she said slowly, "I know where the Giamler is." Ebony's eyes lit up and she got to her feet. "But first, what is your name?" Ebony sighed and reluctantly sat down, seeing that the other girl wasn't going to leave yet. "Ebony. Whats your name?" she answered, trying to sound cheerful. "Shory." So Shory and Ebony set about putting out the fire, throwing dirt over it.

The Giamler sat at his kitchen table, preparing lunch. He had searched for Ebony, but without much effort. She had plenty of food in her backpack, he thought, and went about his daily tasks only a little worried about her. That was why when Ebony entered, with Shory at her side, she was absolutely livid. "I thought you were meant to take care of me!" she seethed. "Yet here you are doing almost nothing while I could be half-starved and lost in the forest!" The Giamler shrugged, but his head drooped with shame. "You had food" he said softly. Ebony looked him straight in the eye and said, trying to keep her calm, "That's another thing. You didn't bother to teach me to cook, or tell me what food I could eat, knowing full well that I had no clue" The Giamler stood up defiantly. "How do you know I wasn't going to show you that? You were the one who ran off into the forest with no idea of where to go!"

Shory pushed the two into seats, sick of listening to their argueing. "Shut up" she cried. The other two stared at her, then obediantly hushed. Shory, showing her bossy side, handed the Giamler the remaining piece of fruit from Ebony's backpack, and instructed him to cook it for Ebony as she had only had one piece of fruit in the time she had been in the forest. Ebony stifled a yawn, and was told to go to bed. She would be woken when her fruit was ready.

The dismak fruit, as Shory and the Giamler called it, had been specially prepared. It was perfectly cooked, and coated with sugary syrup and a spice which tasted a lot like cinammon. It was delicious, if a little messy. It was soft, sweet, and still warm. Ebony sighed when it was finished, placed the stone on her sidetable, and went to sleep.

When she woke it was morning, and she realised that she had slept through the whole afternoon and the night. She stretched slowly and pushed her covers off, yawning loudly. She stood slowly, staring at the unwashed clothes she had been wearing ever since she had arrived in the realm. Clothes from Earth. The t-shirt, she remembered, had come from a charity shop down her street, her trousers had come from her friend, and her shoes had been given to her by her mother as a birthday present. She suddenly felt homesick and lonely, for although she already knew Shory and the Giamler, she had only been friends with them for a little while, and even then the Giamler could hardly be trusted to help her out in times of trouble.

There were footsteps in the hallway. Ebony dove into bed and closed her eyes, not wanting to pretend to be jovial. Shory appeared in the doorway, smiling all over. She then came over and perched on the bed, sensing that Ebony was upset. Ebony sat up slowly with a long, wistful sigh. "You wanna go home?" asked Shory softly. Ebony nodded. Shory looked at her sadly, then said, in barely a whisper "Do ya wanna know why I'm here?" Ebony nodded again, hoping it would take her mind off home.

Shory began slowly. "I didn't want to come here. I lived on Earth once, you know. I was just an ordinary girl, like you, I guess. But then I saw something I wasn't supposed to - a glimmering portal-like thing, and they stole me away, worried that I would tell someone. They just sent down one of the guards, who zapped me, and then I was brought up here and given all this..." she fingered her fuzzy coat "fur. Then I was assigned a little shack and forgotten about."