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Zunayeed Kamal Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please rate this argumentative essay

Toefl Topic: You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy ? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

Which one is more important- food or dress ? Definitely food, isn’t it ? Considering the perspective of economics, food can be considered as a basic need that helps people survive is similar to business that can generate revenue to buy to food. Importance of dress which is similar to shelter or house is minimal from the perspective of basic need of food in primitive age. In my opinion, purshasing a business is more convenient than purchasing a house from perspectives.

First, purchasing a business is really profitable as business has the power to generate revenue. At the outset, though it might be difficult to generate revenue, but in the longrun business can be profitable when market is captured. As for instance, it took around 5 years for facebook to come to the break-even point, and gradually, Facebook became one of the successful business organizations around the world. On the other hand, if the Founder of Facebook had purchased a house rather than doing business using his innovative ideas, he would not be that much rich as he is now a days. In addition to that business can generate profit that can be reinvested to increase revenue. So, business is profitable.

Second, business can create more jobs and opportunity, whereas purchasing a house can do neither. Though at the beginning stage of any successful business, a lot of hard work with innovative ideas is required, it is business that become successful at the end of the day. Jack Ma, the founder of Ali Baba, was rejected from jobs more than 30 times prior establishing his own business. Being homeless at that time, he started doing business and right now, millions of people work for his company. So, in other words, he created jobs that helped many people purchasing a house. Thus, from the business perspective, purchasing a business is more opportunistic than purchasing a house.

In brief, purchasing a business is more profitable than purchasing a house because purchasing a business can generate more revenue and more opportunities than purchasing a house which can merely provide shelter.
  

Top answer

- Your introduction is unclear and needs to be rewritten in a more standard style. - The Facebook example is not a good one because you talk about the founder , not someone who purchased a business. - Your second body paragraph is totally off topic.

  • - Your introduction is unclear and needs to be rewritten in a more standard style.
  • - The Facebook example is not a good one because you talk about the founder , not someone who purchased a business.
  • - Your second body paragraph is totally off topic.
  • I'm afraid that essay wouldn't pass.
  • Try again.
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1 Answers
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- Your introduction is unclear and needs to be rewritten in a more standard style.
- The Facebook example is not a good one because you talk about the founder, not someone who purchased a business.
- Your second body paragraph is totally off topic.

I'm afraid that essay wouldn't pass.

Try again.

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