Please proofread this introductory paragraph

Hi,

I don't like to open attachments in case they contain a virus. Also, it's harder to make corrections. Please just paste your text into the actual post.

Or, perhaps someone else may be happy to work with your attachment.

ok .. thanks for telling me .. here it is.

Numerous literary works have been created since stories began to be written down. Though the number of literary works is endless, works of fiction are often more popular among young readers. The invented events and the unrealistic exaggeration of those events that the author sometimes uses makes it more appealing to young readers since

Numerous too weak a word - more than numerous literary works have been created since stories first began to be written down. Though the number of literary works is endless not exactly endless - it's a finite number, works of fiction are often more popular among young readers.

The main point I want to make is that Non-fiction offers more information than fiction through its 3 crucial elements (as the essay question requires). How should I reflect this in the topic sentence?

Didn't Mr. M suggest that you avoid the comparison with fiction if your essay is about non-fiction? If there are three crucial elements, then you should introduce them in your opening paragraph.

yes, Mr. M did suggest that. But the 3 crucial elements must belong to the last sentence because it is the thesis statement. I'm trying to leave the introductory sentence broad since it is the first sentence of an essay.

Has your teacher taught you that your thesis statement must be the last line in your first paragraph?

You need to be more clear about what those three elements are - I totally missed them.

yes, the thesis statement must be the last line according to the teacher. The three elements are the honesty and truth used by the author, the objectivity, and the narrative style in non-fiction works.

What else can we help you with, then? Your grammar is fine. Personally, I find your contrast with fiction a weak entrance into your essay. Based on that, I would expect the whole piece to be a comparison of fiction and non-fiction.

I would use take those critical elements and give each one a sentence. I also think the opening paragraph is too soon to introduce details like examples of no