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Nikoer30127 Posted 15 years ago
Grammar
Please proofread the fragments below for me !Thank you!
They are the fragments about hair salon, Please help me revise them to be more like an ad if there are any mistakes.
Also, Please choose the better one if there's a slash between two options.
1. Perfect to update your hair style.
2. These are made for you/ These are all for you. (The products)
3. Simple and easy to use
4. The ideal glossy hair
5. Advance the quality of hair coloring , feeling pleasent while dying hair.
6. The best quality of hair coloring to all customers
Thank you !!!!
Also, Please choose the better one if there's a slash between two options.
1. Perfect to update your hair style.
2. These are made for you/ These are all for you. (The products)
3. Simple and easy to use
4. The ideal glossy hair
5. Advance the quality of hair coloring , feeling pleasent while dying hair.
6. The best quality of hair coloring to all customers
Thank you !!!!
Top answer
1. Perfect to update your hair style. " 2.
- 1.
- Perfect to update your hair style.
- " 2.
- These are made for you/ These are all for you.
- " 3.
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4 Answers
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1. Perfect to update your hair style.
Ok, or simply: "Update your hairstyle!"
2. These are made for you/ These are all for you. (The products)
Ok, or: "Just for you." ; "These are just for you."
3. Simple and easy to use
Ok
4. The ideal
Ok, or simply: "Update your hairstyle!"
2. These are made for you/ These are all for you. (The products)
Ok, or: "Just for you." ; "These are just for you."
3. Simple and easy to use
Ok
4. The ideal
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Thank you very much!!! Those are extremely helpful!
For #4, I meant "These products will help your hair look glossy and shiny "
For #5, I meant " You will enjoy the porcess of dying you hair with these products"
So how should I change them?
For #4, I meant "These products will help your hair look glossy and shiny "
For #5, I meant " You will enjoy the porcess of dying you hair with these products"
So how should I change them?
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4. "Make your hair glossy and shiny!" (a little ambiguous, but cut down on words for advertising)
5. "Making dying [your hair] enjoyable!" ("Your hair" is optional - at a hair salon, I think we can safely assume that you won't be dying fabric...")
Remember, those are not 'great' examples of English, but I think they fit in well enough with advertising lingo.
5. "Making dying [your hair] enjoyable!" ("Your hair" is optional - at a hair salon, I think we can safely assume that you won't be dying fabric...")
Remember, those are not 'great' examples of English, but I think they fit in well enough with advertising lingo.
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