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Trouper Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

Please proofread my writing

0Dear members,02br
02br
00First paragapgh: 02br
00We are a team of students from Singapore national university have chosen your company, 01b00Singapore Automobiles02b00 to participate in the Online Marketing Challenge. With your cooperation, our team Empressrio will develop a free online marketing campaign by using AdWords to drive traffic to your website. Our team consist of 5 students from first year to final year students. Below is the details for our team members.02br
00Second para:02br
02br
00We decided to advertise your company offical website which is the 01b00Singapore automobiles.02b00 We really hope that your company would consider our request in order to help you improve your online presence and getting more recognition of your hotel locally and internationally. 02br
00Besides, we also seek your support and advise that will help us to win the competition.02br
02br
00We anticipate a positive feedback from the Corporate Department in order for us to proceed with the challenge. Do not hasitate to contact me Javavid sing02br
02br
00Yours Sincerely,0-
  

Top answer

0Hi,02br 02br 01font 01b 00We really hope that your company would consider our request 02b 02font 02br 02br 00My first quick impression is that it's not clear to me what your request is. Are you simply asking for their permission to do this? Will you submit your plans to them for their approval?

— Clive

  • 0Hi,02br 02br 01font 01b 00We really hope that your company would consider our request 02b 02font 02br 02br 00My first quick impression is that it's not clear to me what your request is.
  • Are you simply asking for their permission to do this?
  • Will you submit your plans to them for their approval?
  • You need to make your meaning clearer and to put this right at the front of your letter.
  • 02br 02br 00All the necessary details can come later in the letter.
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4 Answers
0
0Hi,02br
02br
01font01b00We really hope that your company would consider our request 02b02font02br
02br
00My first quick impression is that it's not clear to me what your request is. Are you simply asking for their permission to do this? Will you submit your plans to them for their approval? You need to m
0
0
0Dear clive,02br
02br
00Yeah we are actually looking for a company to work with promote their new business through online marketing campaign. We want to know whether they are interested to work with us. 0-
0
0
0Hi,02br
02br
00Then in your letter you need to ask them whether they are interested in working with you. You need to explain why they should say 'Yes'. You also need to make clear what you want them to do, and how much of their time you will require. 02br
02br
00As I suggested, why don't you revise your letter and post it here again for our further comm
0
0
0Dear clive,02br
00 Thanks for the suggestion; I followed it and modified in a way that answered your questions above. I showed the modified letter to a prof and He corrected some mistakes. 02br
02br
00Thanks once again!02br
02br
00peace, love and health02br
00 Trouper 0-
0

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