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Grammarwarrior Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please proofread my write-up

Dear friends,

I have started learning English very recently. In fact, this is my third month of learning the language. I want some native English speakers to go through the following content that was written by me, and point out the grammatical errors in it. I particularly want to see the possible verb tense errors I might have written.

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When I was 19 years old, I used to work at a coffee shop. One day, while I was busy with my regular work in the coffee shop, a blue-eyed girl talked to me asking if I was the student named Ron with whom she studied in the primary school. I politely said no, and informed her that my name is Alex. She responded saying 'oh', and went on to sit in a corner table. After a few minutes, the lady called me, and asked me if I can give her my phone number. I was little hesitant; I asked her why she needs my phone number. She said she had a friend named Ron, and I look pretty much like him. I gave my phone number to her while making sure my manager doesn't see me doing so. The lady had left the place before I was called by manager to his room. I was fired by my manager that day. He told me that I breached one of the company's policies by trying to make a personal contact with a customer.

A year later, I have seen the blue-eyed girl awhile I was walking down a fairly empty street. I walked up to her, stood right in front of her, and asked her how she is doing. She didn't remember me. I reminded her that she has taken my phone number sometime back.
She recalled that episode, and told me that someone has paid her to ask my phone number. I asked her to tell me the name of the person who paid her to do the ugly job. She declined to answer, and left the place in a hurry.

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Thank you!
  

Top answer

Hello, grammarwarrior—and welcome to English Forums. Thank you for registering as a member. I have underlined some problem areas in your essay and crossed out redundant text.

  • Hello, grammarwarrior—and welcome to English Forums.
  • Thank you for registering as a member.
  • I have underlined some problem areas in your essay and crossed out redundant text.
  • Please make corrections and post your revised essay here.
  • When I was 19 years old, I used to work at a coffee shop.
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1 Answers
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Hello, grammarwarrior—and welcome to English Forums. Thank you for registering as a member. I have underlined some problem areas in your essay and crossed out redundant text. Please make corrections and post your revised essay here.

When I was 19 years old, I used to work at a coffee shop. One day, while I was busy with my regular work in the coffee shop, a blue

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