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Anonymous Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
please proofread essay, thank you!!
As I believe that being in college requires strength, commitment to public service will allow me to develop the inner strength that I need in order to pursue either of my career choices without being afraid to experience real life. My previous visit to a nursing home highlighted my personal and professional goal to acknowledge my compassionate side while staying focused, and my academic goal to persevere always.
I doubted becoming a social worker or Congresswoman as I realized that I would work with people from all lifestyles and deal with enormous amounts of pressure, respectively, and for both. I was afraid to experience real life. Then I realized that community service through volunteering would help me develop the inner strength that I need to pursue either of my career choices. I have the quality of compassion, but to be a social worker, I must not be afraid to be compassionate, but be compassionate and stay focused. In addition, I am a hard working student, but at times when bombarded with lots of work and pressure, I got tired and gave up. If I want to be a Congresswoman, there will be a lot of work and pressure involved. That is why I am so thankful for my previous visit to a nursing home.
When I first arrived at the nursing home, I treated the visit as a task, thinking I would just get it done, and go home, unattached. I was holding in my emotions but as I was going from room to room, visiting the patients, they came out, especially after seeing some of the sick ones. Everything around me was making me sad. When I left, I realized that to meet people’s needs, it is best to be compassionate in order to connect with them, but stay focused on what is important, because while I was hiding my emotions, I could not see that some of them were going through tough times and needed someone to be there for them and not just feel sorry for them.
Before I started visiting the rooms, the director suggested ways to make conversation with the patients, and certain topics to avoid. After a few patients, I wanted to give up because it was hard for me to connect with them in such limited time and limited conversation. However, it was best for them only to know that someone was there for them, and not for them to be reminded of their sickness. Now I know that no matter what the circumstances, I should persevere because as a student in college, and as a Congresswoman, I will have to do lots of work with certain guidelines to follow.
I learned a lot from my experience at the nursing home, and by continuing my involvement in public service, I will be able to practice being compassionate while maintaining focus, and juggling lots of pressure and work.
I doubted becoming a social worker or Congresswoman as I realized that I would work with people from all lifestyles and deal with enormous amounts of pressure, respectively, and for both. I was afraid to experience real life. Then I realized that community service through volunteering would help me develop the inner strength that I need to pursue either of my career choices. I have the quality of compassion, but to be a social worker, I must not be afraid to be compassionate, but be compassionate and stay focused. In addition, I am a hard working student, but at times when bombarded with lots of work and pressure, I got tired and gave up. If I want to be a Congresswoman, there will be a lot of work and pressure involved. That is why I am so thankful for my previous visit to a nursing home.
When I first arrived at the nursing home, I treated the visit as a task, thinking I would just get it done, and go home, unattached. I was holding in my emotions but as I was going from room to room, visiting the patients, they came out, especially after seeing some of the sick ones. Everything around me was making me sad. When I left, I realized that to meet people’s needs, it is best to be compassionate in order to connect with them, but stay focused on what is important, because while I was hiding my emotions, I could not see that some of them were going through tough times and needed someone to be there for them and not just feel sorry for them.
Before I started visiting the rooms, the director suggested ways to make conversation with the patients, and certain topics to avoid. After a few patients, I wanted to give up because it was hard for me to connect with them in such limited time and limited conversation. However, it was best for them only to know that someone was there for them, and not for them to be reminded of their sickness. Now I know that no matter what the circumstances, I should persevere because as a student in college, and as a Congresswoman, I will have to do lots of work with certain guidelines to follow.
I learned a lot from my experience at the nursing home, and by continuing my involvement in public service, I will be able to practice being compassionate while maintaining focus, and juggling lots of pressure and work.
Top answer
Well done, I'd say. I advise you to consider rephrasing this: Anonymous I doubted becoming a social worker or Congresswoman. On a sidenote, it seems you are rather fond of the word "compassionate".
- Well done, I'd say.
- I advise you to consider rephrasing this: Anonymous I doubted becoming a social worker or Congresswoman.
- On a sidenote, it seems you are rather fond of the word "compassionate".
- At one point, you use it (or its direct relatives) thrice in a single sentence!
- You should consider rephrasing that as you tend to become somewhat repetitive.
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1 Answers
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Well done, I'd say. I advise you to consider rephrasing this:
AnonymousI doubted becoming a social worker or Congresswoman.On a sidenote, it seems you are rather fond of the word "compassionate". At one point, you use it (or its direct relatives) thrice in a single sentence! You should consider rephrasing that as you tend to become somewhat repetitive. Other
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