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Mohammad kamelan Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
please pointing out my mistakes.
i wrote this by myself and i want you guy's to pointing out my mistakes especially in my grammar and using the right words.
this is the true story of my former colleague. she was handicap in her both legs, she can't walk even by stick and she always used her wheelchair for commuting to her work place. despite her severe disability, she was going to work every day at 8:00 until 19:00. she even can't went to the bathroom because of her circumstances. can you imagine that! but she is a woman with strong conviction. she is so determined in her work. after 5 years working for a well known firm. she moved out and establish her own firm. right now her business is so lucrative and she has 5 employee. for me she is the BEST paragon of absolute determination. and always adore her.
.i desperately asking you guys to pointing out my mistakes especially in my grammar
thanks in advance guys!
this is the true story of my former colleague. she was handicap in her both legs, she can't walk even by stick and she always used her wheelchair for commuting to her work place. despite her severe disability, she was going to work every day at 8:00 until 19:00. she even can't went to the bathroom because of her circumstances. can you imagine that! but she is a woman with strong conviction. she is so determined in her work. after 5 years working for a well known firm. she moved out and establish her own firm. right now her business is so lucrative and she has 5 employee. for me she is the BEST paragon of absolute determination. and always adore her.
.i desperately asking you guys to pointing out my mistakes especially in my grammar
thanks in advance guys!
Top answer
Hello Mohammad; Your passage is written in "Weblish," not proper English. To write proper English, you need to use the "shift" key on your keyboard for the first letter in a sentence, proper nouns, and the personal pronoun "I". It is a lot of painstaking work for us to convert all your Weblish to English.
- Hello Mohammad; Your passage is written in "Weblish," not proper English.
- To write proper English, you need to use the "shift" key on your keyboard for the first letter in a sentence, proper nouns, and the personal pronoun "I".
- It is a lot of painstaking work for us to convert all your Weblish to English.
- Please do the conversion yourself, and post your paragraph again.
- Then we can remark on the other errors in grammar and vocabulary.
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5 Answers
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Hello Mohammad;
Your passage is written in "Weblish," not proper English.
To write proper English, you need to use the "shift" key on your keyboard for the first letter in a sentence, proper nouns, and the personal pronoun "I".
It is a lot of painstaking work for us to convert all your Weblish to English.
Please do the conversion yourself, and post your paragraph again.
Your passage is written in "Weblish," not proper English.
To write proper English, you need to use the "shift" key on your keyboard for the first letter in a sentence, proper nouns, and the personal pronoun "I".
It is a lot of painstaking work for us to convert all your Weblish to English.
Please do the conversion yourself, and post your paragraph again.
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Thanks for your attention. I revised it as you told:
This is the true story of my former colleague. She was handicapped in her both legs, she can't walk even by stick and she always used her wheelchair for commuting to her work place. Despite her severe disability, she was going to work every day at 8:00 until 19:00. She can't even go to the bathroom because of her circumstances. Can you
This is the true story of my former colleague. She was handicapped in her both legs, she can't walk even by stick and she always used her wheelchair for commuting to her work place. Despite her severe disability, she was going to work every day at 8:00 until 19:00. She can't even go to the bathroom because of her circumstances. Can you
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Great! Here are some suggestions.
This is the true story of my former colleague. She was handicapped; (handicapped in - is not correct) both legs were paralyzed / amputated /deformed, (This condition is called " paraplegic." You can say - She is a paraplegic, or she is crippled.) she can't walk even with a cane or crutchesby stick and s
This is the true story of my former colleague. She was handicapped; (handicapped in - is not correct) both legs were paralyzed / amputated /deformed, (This condition is called " paraplegic." You can say - She is a paraplegic, or she is crippled.) she can't walk even with a cane or crutches
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much gratitude "AlpheccaStars"
your help is so precious to me.
But just can you explain to me why you use "condition" instead of "circumstances" and "very" instead of "so", and why you don't use "the best" in: she is the best a paragon of absolute determination?
your help is so precious to me.
But just can you explain to me why you use "condition" instead of "circumstances" and "very" instead of "so", and why you don't use "the best" in: she is
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mohammad kamelanBut just can you explain to me why you use "condition" instead of "circumstances"We speak of medical conditions, and living conditions. These are somewhat set phrases.
mohammad kamelanwhy you don't use "the best" in: she is the best a paragon of absolute determination?Paragon already has the concept
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