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Billybillwong Posted 15 years ago
Grammar
Please point out any grammar mistakes
Please point out any grammar mistakes from the passage below. It would help me to understand my grammar problems.
Thank you for your time in reading the passage and your comments.
On 15/08/2011 at 16:00, I tried to redeem 2 coupons and had made a request for 2 tickets for the train toChinaon 30/08/2011. I was told by your staff, Mr. Smith, at your office inHong Kongthat no tickets were available for this particular train and they had recommended a train on 31/08/2011.
I was told by your staff Mr. smith that all tickets of the train on 30/08/2011 had been fully booked. He further explained that the booking procedure of your company would not reserved any tickets, all tickets were sold on a first-come first server and your company would not treat customers differently even if they were trying to redeem tickets with coupons.
After that, I went home and had checked the availability of tickets through your company’s online booking system. I found that the message had shown on the system when I tried to make enquiry about the train on 30/08/2011 was “Sorry, all trains are full for this time rage or not available, please select another time period” which confirmed your staff’s saying earlier that no seats were available.
I further noted that the result about the train on 30/08/2011 was different from other enquires. When I tried to make enquiry for other trains, your booking system had shown different results. Instead of a single sentence “Sorry, all trains are full for this time rage or not available, please select another time period”, the system had given me a more details information about the availability of different classes of a particular trains.
Today 19/08/2011, I found that all classes of the train on 30/08/2011 are available for booking through your online booking system. I would like you to give me an explanation as to why tickets are now available again.
Thank you for your time in reading the passage and your comments.
On 15/08/2011 at 16:00, I tried to redeem 2 coupons and had made a request for 2 tickets for the train toChinaon 30/08/2011. I was told by your staff, Mr. Smith, at your office inHong Kongthat no tickets were available for this particular train and they had recommended a train on 31/08/2011.
I was told by your staff Mr. smith that all tickets of the train on 30/08/2011 had been fully booked. He further explained that the booking procedure of your company would not reserved any tickets, all tickets were sold on a first-come first server and your company would not treat customers differently even if they were trying to redeem tickets with coupons.
After that, I went home and had checked the availability of tickets through your company’s online booking system. I found that the message had shown on the system when I tried to make enquiry about the train on 30/08/2011 was “Sorry, all trains are full for this time rage or not available, please select another time period” which confirmed your staff’s saying earlier that no seats were available.
I further noted that the result about the train on 30/08/2011 was different from other enquires. When I tried to make enquiry for other trains, your booking system had shown different results. Instead of a single sentence “Sorry, all trains are full for this time rage or not available, please select another time period”, the system had given me a more details information about the availability of different classes of a particular trains.
Today 19/08/2011, I found that all classes of the train on 30/08/2011 are available for booking through your online booking system. I would like you to give me an explanation as to why tickets are now available again.
Top answer
Here is how I would rewrite your letter. Among the major changes are breaking up long sentences, inserting spaces where you run words together, spelling out dates and some numbers. I have not changed British style spelling (enquiry vs inquiry).
- Here is how I would rewrite your letter.
- Among the major changes are breaking up long sentences, inserting spaces where you run words together, spelling out dates and some numbers.
- I have not changed British style spelling (enquiry vs inquiry).
- On 15 August 2011 at 16:00, I tried to redeem two coupons, requesting two tickets for the train to China on 30 August 2011.
- I was told by a staff member, Mr.
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1 Answers
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Here is how I would rewrite your letter. Among the major changes are breaking up long sentences, inserting spaces where you run words together, spelling out dates and some numbers. I have not changed British style spelling (enquiry vs inquiry).
On 15 August 2011 at 16:00, I tried to redeem two coupons, requesting two tickets for the train to China on 30 August 2011. I was t
On 15 August 2011 at 16:00, I tried to redeem two coupons, requesting two tickets for the train to China on 30 August 2011. I was t
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