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SpoonfedBaby Posted 21 years ago
Grammar
Please, my text needs corrections (carcinogens)
Hallo,
Please, help me correct my English mistakes in my text.
My text:
In France, in 2003, 2 370 000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. Those results, published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry, come from the “Summer 2003” study.
In the study, 1800 investigating doctors looked for a possible exposition of a population of 50 000 to 83 chemical products. Among them, 13.5% were exposed to at least one or several carcinogenic products, a number that has increased by one point in the last 10 years.
The sector of automobile sell and repair, metallurgy and metal transformation (transformation of the metal), wood and paper industries, mines product industries and finally, construction have in common to have at least 35% of their workers exposed to carcinogens.
Thank you very much,
Spoonfedbay
Please, help me correct my English mistakes in my text.
My text:
In France, in 2003, 2 370 000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. Those results, published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry, come from the “Summer 2003” study.
In the study, 1800 investigating doctors looked for a possible exposition of a population of 50 000 to 83 chemical products. Among them, 13.5% were exposed to at least one or several carcinogenic products, a number that has increased by one point in the last 10 years.
The sector of automobile sell and repair, metallurgy and metal transformation (transformation of the metal), wood and paper industries, mines product industries and finally, construction have in common to have at least 35% of their workers exposed to carcinogens.
Thank you very much,
Spoonfedbay
Top answer
In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. Those results, published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry, come from the “Summer 2003” study. In the study, 1,800 investigating doctors looked for a possible exposure, in a population of 50,000, to 83 chemical products.
- In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products.
- Those results, published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry, come from the “Summer 2003” study.
- In the study, 1,800 investigating doctors looked for a possible exposure, in a population of 50,000, to 83 chemical products.
- 5% were exposed to at least one of several carcinogenic products; a number that has increased by one point in the last 10 years.
- The sectors of automobile sales and repair, metallurgy and metal transformation, wood and paper industries, mining product industries and finally, construction, have in common the exposure of at least 35% of their workers to carcinogens.
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10 Answers
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In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. Those results, published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry, come from the “Summer 2003” study.
In the study, 1,800 investigating doctors looked for a possible exposure, in a population of 50,000, to 83 chemical products. Among them, 13.5% were ex
In the study, 1,800 investigating doctors looked for a possible exposure, in a population of 50,000, to 83 chemical products. Among them, 13.5% were ex
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'Those results' in the second sentence has an indefinite antecedent. Results of/from what? There is, in the only sentence that precedes this one, no reference to anything that would produce results. The paragraph need a little rearrangement of the material.
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Hello Eimai_Anglos,
Yes, I was looking for "foundry and metallurgy." Thank you very much.
Second version:
In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. Those results, published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry, come from the “Summer 2003” study.
Yes, I was looking for "foundry and metallurgy." Thank you very much.
Second version:
In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. Those results, published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry, come from the “Summer 2003” study.
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Thank you very, davkett
Third version:
In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. The result published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry, comes from the “Summer 2003” study.
In the study, 1,800 investigating doctors looked
Third version:
In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. The result published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry, comes from the “Summer 2003” study.
In the study, 1,800 investigating doctors looked
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This was my point:
Your first sentence says nothing about a study, or series of studies, being conducted. It only states that workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. The second sentence refers to 'the result', but the reader doesn't know what is referred to by 'the result'. The third sentence talks about 'the study' involving 50,000 people. Is that one of several studies?
Your first sentence says nothing about a study, or series of studies, being conducted. It only states that workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. The second sentence refers to 'the result', but the reader doesn't know what is referred to by 'the result'. The third sentence talks about 'the study' involving 50,000 people. Is that one of several studies?
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Hello davkett,
Thank you very much for helping me.
True. I don't talk about the procedure of the study.
I don't know how to rearrange the information so that readers will understand which study and which result I'm talking about.
Fourth version:
In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. The result
Thank you very much for helping me.
True. I don't talk about the procedure of the study.
I don't know how to rearrange the information so that readers will understand which study and which result I'm talking about.
Fourth version:
In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. The result
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Is it something like this:
In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. The results of a study of 50,000 workers were published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry.
In that study, titled, "Summer of 2003",1,800 investigating do
In France, in 2003, 2,370,000 workers were exposed to carcinogenic products. The results of a study of 50,000 workers were published in the “First Synthesizes” July issue, edited by the research department of the Employment ministry.
In that study, titled, "Summer of 2003",1,800 investigating do
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Thank you so much, davkett.
And yes, you were right about the newspaper title. I didn't translate it well. It should be "First Syntheses."
Spoonfedbaby
And yes, you were right about the newspaper title. I didn't translate it well. It should be "First Syntheses."
Spoonfedbaby
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Its very urgent, please help me to correct English mistakes;
My text
The reason why my child to attend the confirmation classes are; I want to ensure that my child should have proper understand of the church she has been baptized and through following the rules of the church she can strength the faith in ***.
My text
The reason why my child to attend the confirmation classes are; I want to ensure that my child should have proper understand of the church she has been baptized and through following the rules of the church she can strength the faith in ***.
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AnonymousMy textYour text has nothing to do with the topic of this thread (carcinogens). Please don't append your posts randomly to old threads. Start a new thread with your question.
CJ
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