Please me to revise this essay IELTS task 2. Thanks

In countries ( where there is high unemployment) most pupils should be offered only primary education; there is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that the rise in the rate of jobless of people who are living in the third world links directly lack of education. Some people believe that governments in such countries should get rid of the higher educational system for those who might be out of job after graduation. I disagree with this view.

On the one hand, there is main reason why people think that students should only be educated in primary schools. Pursing scholastic world is the exorbitant journey which a scholar have to invest a mount of time and money, meanwhile their countries are not affordable to employ them. The fact is that in the emerging countries, the high skilled workers have been having to accept the low-paid jobs which can not secure a stable life, even if they might obsess a bachelor's degree.

On the other hand, I strongly support with people who think that students should be set a free to choose their own future. It would have been wrong if governments in the developing countries had decided to eliminate secondary school systems because it could go against the privilege of children who deserve to be edified equally like every children who are living the first class world. Furthermore, the national security and economy could be condemned by the fragility of educational system. For example, nowadays going alongside the development of economy that require the higher levels of qualification, so that a number of jobs could be axed every year, this leads to increase the rate of crimes.

In conclusion, I believe that being educated fully is the most important privilege of human rights because it can be seen as the effective way to accumulate the prosperity of nations