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Bảo khuyên Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please make corrections for my essay

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People have different views about whether the government should send criminals to prison rather than educate and train them to become better. I strongly disagree with this argument because of two main reasons.

To begin with, there are two compelling reasons to explain why the government should not impose corporal punishment on criminals. First, offenders are likely to be tough on crime like the way they treat victims. To make the matter worse, they will be given the full weight of the law, this is likely to prevent them a chance of rehabilitation and make a fresh start to contribute to the development of society. Second, there is a wide variety of cases that law-abiding citizens have arrested suspects and thus are found guilty. Additionally, they are likely to be received capital punishment despite contesting the verdict, and it is considered as an act as deterrent , which lessen the letter of the law and squander a chance of civilians.

Furthermore, feasible solutions can be taken to tackle this problem are promoting the awareness of people. First, the government should provide public spending for education institutions as well as broaden a variety of vocational schools for offenders to have a chance to get a stable job. For example, national and local authorities campaign for social activities for people in rural areas to enhance their knowledge in many issues and encourage people to take part in outdoor activities to bond their relationship in the neighborhood. Second, there are a significant number of rewards as well as grants given for family units that have a positive way of living and abide by local rights. Moreover, using the mass of electronic media to announce all people the latest news as well as enforce the law heavily.

To sum up, I believe that education and training are good ways to reform wrongdoers and put on probation instead of sending them to prison.

  

Top answer

So much of your writing is incorrect, that I stopped making comments. You are trying to write using advanced-level English expressions and sentences, but your skills are intermediate-level. That is not a productive strategy.

  • So much of your writing is incorrect, that I stopped making comments.
  • You are trying to write using advanced-level English expressions and sentences, but your skills are intermediate-level.
  • That is not a productive strategy.
  • Please rewrite your essay.
  • People have different views about whether the government should send criminals to prison rather than educate and train them to become better.
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2 Answers
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So much of your writing is incorrect, that I stopped making comments.
You are trying to write using advanced-level English expressions and sentences, but your skills are intermediate-level. That is not a productive strategy. Please rewrite your essay.



People have different views about whether the government should send criminals to prison rather than educate and train

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