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Anonymous Posted 14 years ago
Letter Writing
Please look into my Motivation Letter
Here goes my letter of motivation. I would appreciate very much if there are any comments and suggestions that may improve the letter to send its message clearer.
I am applying to the Water Resources Engineering and Management (WAREM) programme specifically for the Sanitary Engineering and Water Quality Management (S3) and Hydraulic Engineering and River Basin Management (S2) courses for the 2012 winter term. My career ambition is to become water treatment specialist.
At the levels of high school and pre-degree, I have completed in science major of biology, chemistry and mathematics. I am at the penultimate semester of my Bachelor of Engineering (Civil) in Universiti Teknologi Malaysia which will complete at 18th January 2012 with expected grade of second class upper level.
The main reasons I am applying to WAREM programme are the relevance of the in-depth course syllabus to reinforce water-related knowledge and practical exposure to learn the prospect of the water industry which in favour will increase the value to the newly established private-own business that operates in Malaysia. For your information, the core activity of the business is mostly contracting to maintain small-scale water-treatment system and rectifying existing works.
Although the local demand for the water-treatment service is moderately average, yet the market is quite competitive due to limited numbers of competitors with respect to the class of contractor. Hence, with the acquired sound knowledge, the company will be able to distinguish its presence and competency embarking on larger-scale projects. In the long term, potentially the company would see a business expansion into consultation service whereby the course would provide the head-starts in terms of knowledge capacity.
Meanwhile Malaysia is geographically enriched with abundance of water resources that serve as economic and social purpose as a whole, occurrence of crisis such as the annual and recent flash floods, water supply scarcity and water pollution are somehow managed at unsatisfactorily level. From my opinion, the unsustainable rapid development of infrastructure in order to foster better economic performance and social welfare has cost the environment with the adverse effects. In the near future, it is deemed that Malaysia would be ready to balance the relationship between livelihood and environment, and hopefully the company would play integral parts contributing to the ambition.
I am keen to study at the Stuttgart University because I am assured that it will provide me with quality education which preceded by the long history of the establishment and its forefront achievements with the guidance by highly-qualified lecturers and advance facilities. Additionally, the embracement of diversity among colleagues will stage the opportunity of exchanging stimulating academic discussion and experiences from different point of views. I am too, attracted to the organized atmosphere around the campus providing the students with necessary services and assistances.
Not only the environment within the Stuttgart University is inviting, Stuttgart also is a very suitable place that meets the needs for character-building influenced by dynamic growth of the city which place to some of the world’s renowned companies. Furthermore, the conduciveness environment of the city implicitly will inspire the motivations to pursue with my study with high-spirits whilst gather the experience for long life-learning process interacting with the local society.
Evidently, based on a survey published by management consultancy Mercer in “Mercer Quality of Living Survey – Worldwide Rankings 2011”, Stuttgart is ranked at number of 28 among the listed top 50 in the terms of the highest standard of living. I look forward to experience the unique way of living that Stuttgart has to offer.
Thank you very much for you time to consider my letter, and please do not hesitate to contact should you need any clarification.
Yours sincerely,
xxxxxxxxxxx
It would be very nice and helpful to hear from your past experience or expertise related to the letter. Thank you very much spending your time reading this.
M
I am applying to the Water Resources Engineering and Management (WAREM) programme specifically for the Sanitary Engineering and Water Quality Management (S3) and Hydraulic Engineering and River Basin Management (S2) courses for the 2012 winter term. My career ambition is to become water treatment specialist.
At the levels of high school and pre-degree, I have completed in science major of biology, chemistry and mathematics. I am at the penultimate semester of my Bachelor of Engineering (Civil) in Universiti Teknologi Malaysia which will complete at 18th January 2012 with expected grade of second class upper level.
The main reasons I am applying to WAREM programme are the relevance of the in-depth course syllabus to reinforce water-related knowledge and practical exposure to learn the prospect of the water industry which in favour will increase the value to the newly established private-own business that operates in Malaysia. For your information, the core activity of the business is mostly contracting to maintain small-scale water-treatment system and rectifying existing works.
Although the local demand for the water-treatment service is moderately average, yet the market is quite competitive due to limited numbers of competitors with respect to the class of contractor. Hence, with the acquired sound knowledge, the company will be able to distinguish its presence and competency embarking on larger-scale projects. In the long term, potentially the company would see a business expansion into consultation service whereby the course would provide the head-starts in terms of knowledge capacity.
Meanwhile Malaysia is geographically enriched with abundance of water resources that serve as economic and social purpose as a whole, occurrence of crisis such as the annual and recent flash floods, water supply scarcity and water pollution are somehow managed at unsatisfactorily level. From my opinion, the unsustainable rapid development of infrastructure in order to foster better economic performance and social welfare has cost the environment with the adverse effects. In the near future, it is deemed that Malaysia would be ready to balance the relationship between livelihood and environment, and hopefully the company would play integral parts contributing to the ambition.
I am keen to study at the Stuttgart University because I am assured that it will provide me with quality education which preceded by the long history of the establishment and its forefront achievements with the guidance by highly-qualified lecturers and advance facilities. Additionally, the embracement of diversity among colleagues will stage the opportunity of exchanging stimulating academic discussion and experiences from different point of views. I am too, attracted to the organized atmosphere around the campus providing the students with necessary services and assistances.
Not only the environment within the Stuttgart University is inviting, Stuttgart also is a very suitable place that meets the needs for character-building influenced by dynamic growth of the city which place to some of the world’s renowned companies. Furthermore, the conduciveness environment of the city implicitly will inspire the motivations to pursue with my study with high-spirits whilst gather the experience for long life-learning process interacting with the local society.
Evidently, based on a survey published by management consultancy Mercer in “Mercer Quality of Living Survey – Worldwide Rankings 2011”, Stuttgart is ranked at number of 28 among the listed top 50 in the terms of the highest standard of living. I look forward to experience the unique way of living that Stuttgart has to offer.
Thank you very much for you time to consider my letter, and please do not hesitate to contact should you need any clarification.
Yours sincerely,
xxxxxxxxxxx
It would be very nice and helpful to hear from your past experience or expertise related to the letter. Thank you very much spending your time reading this.
M
Top answer
I received your note. You're a bright individual. However, your writing is poor.
- I received your note.
- You're a bright individual.
- However, your writing is poor.
- " Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect.
- It sounds artificial and poorly structured.
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5 Answers
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I received your note.
You're a bright individual. However, your writing is poor. You try to sound intellectual in your letter with "fancy words and phases." Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect. It sounds artificial and poorly structured. Even worse, you didn't talk about you. That's the whole point of the letter is to discuss you.
I will give you some sentences that are poo
You're a bright individual. However, your writing is poor. You try to sound intellectual in your letter with "fancy words and phases." Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect. It sounds artificial and poorly structured. Even worse, you didn't talk about you. That's the whole point of the letter is to discuss you.
I will give you some sentences that are poo
00
Thank you very much MH for pointing out the weaknesses of the letter in which I also did feel it sounds quite superficial as I tried so hard to impress the readers before I published it here on the website. But let’s say that I slash out the fancy words and replace them with phrases that you suggested, the letter will seem to be dull as I try to avoid as much as possible to write about myself, and
00
M,
I didn't suggest anything. I merely translated your words into something understandable. I wouldn't use those words either.
>>What would you suggest that I should write on behalf of myself, because I'm quite not active participating in any activities or societies throughout my university years
You are yourself, at least I hope so. This letter is about you. This
I didn't suggest anything. I merely translated your words into something understandable. I wouldn't use those words either.
>>What would you suggest that I should write on behalf of myself, because I'm quite not active participating in any activities or societies throughout my university years
You are yourself, at least I hope so. This letter is about you. This
00
MH,
In the moment, I'm juggling with few assignments and preparing for the final exams which will start on the 2nd until 17th January next year. I will try update this letter from time to time, hopefully it would be fruitful and will be completed on time with your help along the way. I must say you have shown me to improve my letter from different perspectives and I should be thankful wit
In the moment, I'm juggling with few assignments and preparing for the final exams which will start on the 2nd until 17th January next year. I will try update this letter from time to time, hopefully it would be fruitful and will be completed on time with your help along the way. I must say you have shown me to improve my letter from different perspectives and I should be thankful wit
00
>>I will try update this letter from time to time, hopefully it would be fruitful and will be completed on time with your help along the way.
I will assist. However, you must do most of the work. And I want you to just show me your best efforts.
Good luck on your assignments, exams and holidays.
I will assist. However, you must do most of the work. And I want you to just show me your best efforts.
Good luck on your assignments, exams and holidays.
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