Please, is my grammatical range okay, or is it restrictive and not good enough for a band 7?

Question: the charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2020 and pdojections for 2050.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts compare the proportions of people in three different age groups in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

Overall, most people in Yemen were between 0 to 14 years old in 2000, but it is estimated that by 2050, the 15-59 year age group will be the dominant one. In contrast, the 15-59 years age group had the largest proportion of people in Italy in 2000, and it is expected to be like that in 2050.

In 2000, almost half and 46.3% of Yemen's population was between 0-14 and 15-59 years old respectively, whereas just a mere 3.6% of the people of Yemen were 60 years and above. However, while the percentage of people aged 0-14 years is predicted to reduce significantly to 37% in 2050, that of those aged 15-59 years is estimated to rise to 57.3%, making that age group the most dominant one.

Looking at Italy, in 2000, 61.6% of its people fell into the 15-59 year age group. Additionally, the percentage of people who were 60 years or older was roughly one-quarter, which was almost two times the figure for 0-14 years. Despite the fact that the figure for 15-59 years is estimated to reduce by 2050, it will remain the highest in that year. The figure for 60+ years will increase considerably to 42.3%. That for 0-14 years, on the other hand, will reduce marginally to around one-fifth, maintaining its spot as the lowest figure.