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Friscospanamania Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Please I need help with my into on a paper about college athletes!!!!!
Assignment: Write an essay in which you discuss the role of athletics in colleges. You may conclude that certain reforms should be made ans wish to recommend some. Or you may prefer to discuss the issue in general in order not to recommend reform but to shed light on this heated debate..
Here it goes:
The role of athletics in colleges has made an uproar scene from academic students. Athletes and students are not being treated equally. Institutions have made sports a priority instead of academics. Institutions do not realize that they are cheating the players of focusing on higher standards and not acknowledging the work of an average student who does not play sports. Instead of solely promoting athleticism, institutions should focus on raising standards, eliminate preferential treatment of athletes over other students, and encourage personal development in other areas aside from sports.
Here it goes:
The role of athletics in colleges has made an uproar scene from academic students. Athletes and students are not being treated equally. Institutions have made sports a priority instead of academics. Institutions do not realize that they are cheating the players of focusing on higher standards and not acknowledging the work of an average student who does not play sports. Instead of solely promoting athleticism, institutions should focus on raising standards, eliminate preferential treatment of athletes over other students, and encourage personal development in other areas aside from sports.
Top answer
Hi Frisco, Welcome to English Forums. Your posting is not bad as an introductory paragraph for your essay. In the first sentence: 'Has created an uproar among academic students' would be the correct phraseology.
- Hi Frisco, Welcome to English Forums.
- Your posting is not bad as an introductory paragraph for your essay.
- In the first sentence: 'Has created an uproar among academic students' would be the correct phraseology.
- In the fourth sentence: the comparison should be more precisely in parallel-- either 'player' and 'average student' (both singular) or 'players' and 'average students' (both plural).
- The last sentence is, I presume, your thesis sentence, so the body of your essay should clearly treat each of those three points -- (1) focus on raising standards (2) eliminate preferential treatment (3) encourage personal development in other areas -- in the paragraphs to come.
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1 Answers
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Hi Frisco,
Welcome to English Forums. Your posting is not bad as an introductory paragraph for your essay.
In the first sentence: 'Has created an uproar among academic students' would be the correct phraseology.
In the fourth sentence: the comparison should be more precisely in parallel-- either 'player' and 'average student' (both singular) or 'players' and 'avera
Welcome to English Forums. Your posting is not bad as an introductory paragraph for your essay.
In the first sentence: 'Has created an uproar among academic students' would be the correct phraseology.
In the fourth sentence: the comparison should be more precisely in parallel-- either 'player' and 'average student' (both singular) or 'players' and 'avera
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