Please help with my Writing PART 1 IELTS. I really need your help.
Hello, this is my writing and I would really appreciate your comment and advice. I will post the topic in the comment section.
The graph illustrates a survey’s results of various home activities among young people from 11 to 16 in four countries: England, Scotland, Iceland and Wales. The number is measured in percentages.
At first glance, it is clear that the young in all four countries spend the most time on computer games, on the other hand, reading takes up the smallest fraction. The percentage of these four activities fluctuates in each country.
Getting back to the details, it can be observed that the number of people playing computer games always is the highest in these countries. At least 40% of people choose this activity and the largest percentage is in Iceland, which comes up to 60%. The same data in other countries stay at about 50%. On the contrary, reading seems to be the least favorite one when only approximately 10-25% of people do this in all four countries, which is just about half the amount compared to computer games.
Categorically speaking, watching TV is the top two favorite home activity for young people in these four countries. The figure demonstrates no significant changes in the number of people choose to watch TV in England, Scotland, Iceland, except for a slight increase in Wales. It is quite the opposite when comes to board games, whose data varies in each country. People in Scotland tend to play board games the most of all meanwhile the number in Iceland and Wales is equally the same, both are the lowest in the 
four countries.
Top answer
You wrote 250 words, way over the minimum. You should spend your time carefully looking at the figure and writing precisely and correctly. If you write 160-175 words, that will be sufficient and you will get a better score.
- You wrote 250 words, way over the minimum.
- You should spend your time carefully looking at the figure and writing precisely and correctly.
- If you write 160-175 words, that will be sufficient and you will get a better score.
- Do not repeat the information and do not write unnecessary phrases.
- The (What kind of graph is it?
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You wrote 250 words, way over the minimum. You should spend your time carefully looking at the figure and writing precisely and correctly. If you write 160-175 words, that will be sufficient and you will get a better score. Do not repeat the information and do not write unnecessary phrases.
The (What kind of graph is it? Graph is not the right word, by the way. ) graph i
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