Please help with my motivation letter

Question

Dear Moderators,
first of all I would like to express my great admiration to these pages and to all moderators here. Your work is wonderful – thank you.

I would like to ask you if you would be so kind and look through my motivation letter.

I am a graduate student at the university in the Czech republic and I applied for a scholarship for Summer English Language Course at the University of Malta. My English is quite poor, but I am doing my best. Writing of this letter is very hard for me, although I went through several helping-pages and this forum as well. The reasons are as follow:
- my language skills are bad
- my letter is quite special, because it is „only“ for a one month language course. That is why I could not use ordinary rules for writing these letters, because most of them are meant for those, who are eager to enter university or start new job.
- third, I already passed the first round which took place in the Czech rep. and now I was only asked to send my materials to the Malthesen side. They told me that even though there is still chance, that I will not be accepted, it is rather unlikely to happen. (which is a good news)

What I wanted to say is, that I know that my letter is much more poorer than the others in this forum, it is also much shorter. Nevertheless, I ask you for your kind help.
I am looking forward to your comments.
Kind regards Jana

Motivation Letter / Letter of Motivation / Cover Letter
(You see, I have even problems with the title)

Dear Sir or Madam:

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in taking part at the ISE (The International School of English) by the University of Malta.

Having looked through the materials of the Foreign Department of my university, I was very delighted to find the opportunity to spend one month learning English at the Universtity of Malta in this summer. I have decided to apply for this scholarship, because from my own experience I know, that the best way, how to learn a foreign language, is to spend some time in respective country.

After graduating from high school I started studying at the Whichever University in Wherever. I have always liked travelling and I also enjoy learning languages and talking to foreigners, which is the best way how to find out more about the country. Therefore I decided for Regional Geography specializing in European Union Studies. This branch is based on experiencing and learning about different culture backgrounds. That is why learning about Malta (as a new EU country), Maltese language, culture and people living there is an essential part of my university studies..

I have been learning English for more than 10 years and today I can say that I’m on quite a good level. Three years ago I succesfully passed the FCE Cambridge Examination. I think, that language courses arranged here in my country are not very helpful for me any more and for further improvement I would need to spend some time abroad. I have also been learning German and Hungarian and I have already twice went through Summer University Courses of Hungarian language in Hungary in last two years. I really appreciated these experience.

If I got the opportunity to spend a month in this summer at the ISE in Malta, I would like to improve in my English to such a level, that I could pass a TOEFL examination after my return and next year I could apply for a scholarship offered through SOCRATES – ERASMUS programme. In addition to this, the experience of education in Malta would be extremly exciting and valuable for my studies and whole life.

Thank you for your time to consider my request, I am looking forward to your answer.

Yours Faithfully,

Jana XZ

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

Jana,

I will be reviewing your letter very soon. So if you are tuning in early, please be patient. I should have something up in an hour or less.

MountainHiker

MountainHiker · Answer

Dear Sir or Madam:

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in participating at The International School of English (ISE) by the University of Malta. [Do you want to apply?...I am applying for a _________at the International School of English (ISE) by the University of Malta.]

Having looked through the materials of the Foreign Department of my university, I was very delighted to find the opportunity to spend one month learning English at the University of Malta in this summer. I have decided to apply for this scholarship because the best way to learn a foreign language is to spend time in learning in a foreign country.

After graduating from high school I started studying at *** University in ***. I have always enjoyed traveling and meeting people and learning their languages. By learning the language of the host country, I learn more about the country than I otherwise would. Therefore I decided *to study/*** Regional Geography *Program?*specializing in European Union Studies. This branch [not sure I understand “branch”] is based on experiencing and learning about different culture backgrounds. That is why learning about Malta (as a new EU country), Maltese language, culture and its people is an essential part of my university studies.

I am proud of how much I have accomplished during my past ten years of studying English. Three years ago I successfully passed the FCE Cambridge Examination. In order to become much better, I need to spend time in an English speaking country. In addition to English, I have also been learning German and Hungarian. Through University Courses of Hungarian, I have spent two *semesters/*** in Hungary. I found that I was able to learn better residing in the country and I greatly appreciated the cultural experience because *blah blah ***.

I would very much like to spend one month at the ISE in Malta. This would give me an opportunity to improve my English and increase my confidence in passing the TOEFL examinations after I return. I plan to apply for a scholarship through the SOCRATES – ERASMUS programme. Moreover, I am confident that my experience in Malta would be extremely exciting, fun, and valuable for both my studies and general development.

Thank you for considering my request. I am look forward to your acceptance.

Yours faithfully,

Jana XZ

Overall, we done. I have fixed some of the obvious errors. And I have made the letter sound more confident. Your English skills are good, though more exposure would be helpful. If you want to revise and post your letter again, please do.

Jjjana · Answer

Dear MountainHiker,
thank very much for your help, I will look at it and send it back again.
Thanks once more!
Jana

Jjjana · Answer

Hello,
I have made rather minor changes following most of your advices. I really like your corrections and improvements, they exactly fit into my general idea. I would appreciate if you could look at it once more. Thank you.

Dear Sir or Madam:

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in participating at The International School of English (ISE) by the University of Malta.

Having looked through the materials of the Foreign Department of my university, I was very delighted to find the opportunity to spend one month learning English at the University of Malta in this summer. I have decided to apply for this scholarship because the best way to learn a foreign language is to spend time in learning in a foreign country.

After graduating from high school I started studying at *** University in ***. I have always enjoyed traveling and meeting people and learning their languages. By learning the language of the host country, I learn more about the country than I otherwise would. Therefore I decided to take Regional Geography Programme specializing in European Union Studies. My studies are based on experiencing and learning about different culture backgrounds. And as the EU countries are at the focus of my lessons, learning about Malta, Maltese language, culture and its people is an essential part of my university studies. [This still needs improvement]

I am proud of how much I have accomplished during my past ten years of studying English. Three years ago I successfully passed the FCE Cambridge Examination. In order to become much better, I need to spend time in an English speaking country. In addition to English, I have also been learning German and Hungarian. Concerning Hungarian I was lucky to spend two summmers in Hungary attending University Courses of the language. I found that I was able to learn better residing in the country and I greatly appreciated the cultural experience because it gave me a unique motivation for further improvement in language.

I would very much like to spend one month at the ISE in Malta. This would give me an opportunity to improve my English and increase my confidence in passing the TOEFL examinations after I return. I plan to apply for a scholarship through the SOCRATES – ERASMUS programme. Moreover, I am confident that my experience in Malta would be extremely exciting, fun, and valuable for both my studies and general development.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours faithfully,

Jana XZ

ps.
Thanks very much for your hitherto help! I am sad that I can not reciprocate this service. I am affraid that there are not many foreigners who need help with letters in Czech

But I promise, in case I am accepted, I will let you know. And I am sure I will use this forum in future.

Jana

MountainHiker · Answer

Dear Sir or Madam:

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in participating at The International School of English (ISE) by the University of Malta.

Having looked through the materials of the Foreign Department of my university, I was very delighted to find the opportunity to spend one month learning English at the University of Malta in this summer. I have decided to apply for this scholarship because the best way to learn a foreign language is to spend time in learning in a foreign country.

After graduating from high school I started studying at *** University in ***. I have always enjoyed traveling and meeting people and learning their languages. By learning the language of the host country, I am able to learn more about the country than I otherwise could. Therefore I decided to take Regional Geography Programme specializing in European Union Studies. My studies are based on experiencing and learning about different cultures. And as the EU countries are at the focus of my lessons, learning about Malta and its language, culture, and people is an essential part of my university studies. [It has been tuned somewhat. This is reasonably good, no?]

I am proud of how much I have accomplished during my past ten years of studying English. Three years ago I successfully passed the FCE Cambridge Examination. But in order to become much better, I need to spend time in an English speaking country. In addition to learning English, I have also been learning German and Hungarian. Concerning Hungarian I was lucky to spend two summers in Hungary attending University Courses. I found that I was able to learn better by residing in the country, and I greatly appreciated the cultural experience because it inspired me to continue learning and improve my skills.

I would very much like to spend one month at the ISE in Malta. This would give me an opportunity to improve my English and increase my confidence in passing the TOEFL examinations after I return. I plan to apply for a scholarship through the SOCRATES – ERASMUS programme. Moreover, I am confident that my experience in Malta would be extremely exciting, fun, and valuable for both my studies and overall general development.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours faithfully,

Jana XZ

Just check whether they spell “program” or “programme”. I will ask someone from Malta to have a look at your letter. Check back in a few hours or tomorrow.

MountainHiker

Matthewg · Answer

Hi,

Maltese people normally use the British standard, 'programme'.

I'm applying for the Spanish course at the ISE, starting in February. Good luck with your application!

Matt

Jjjana · Answer

Dear MountainHiker and matthewq,
thank you once more very much for your quick help. I learned a lot at these pages, and for the future I wish you all the best. I hope we will meet in this forum in future again!
And for you, Matt, I wish you good luck with your application for Spanish course! Let me know, how it continues.
Jana

Please help with my motivation letter

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