Please help to review my IELTS writing test. Thank you so much! (01.25)

Task 1:

The table presents the comparison regarding the export values of five products between 1997 and 2010.

In general, meanwhile the entire scale of exporting the five types of products and the amounts of equipment, tele-community and mentals witnessed upward trends, the changes of clothing and manufacturing showed an opposite pattern over the given years.

In 1997, the export value of equipment was the highest ($HK 10.3 billion), followed by the numbers for tele-community, clothing and manufacturing ($HK 7.9 billion, $6 billion and $HK 5 billion respectively). The least money was gained from exporting mentals, being at 2.3 billion Hong Kong dollars in this year.

An increase of 20% was recorded in the extent of export of the products in 13 years later (38.4 billion Hong Kong dollars), with significant rises in equipment (13%), tele-community (61%) and mentals (122%). Whereas, the other two products experienced adverse tendencies, with the value of clothing falling to $HK 5 billion and the amount of manufacturing - the bottom of the list going down to $HK 4 billion. In addition, the export of tele-community became predominant the most by reaching a high of 12.7 billion dollars.

Task 2:

Meanwhile, some people opine that it is crucial for students to be strongly aware of having a healthy diet at their educational establishments, other advocate an idea that parents take ultimate responsibilities to teach their offspring about it. From my perspective, I do believe that the young need supports from both their teachers and parents to broaden knowledge on well-balanced meals.

To begin with, schoolteachers, who are trained professionally and well-experienced in educating people, are the best person to provide useful information about a healthy diet in an effective manner. If a person devoid of pedagogical technique educates children on this subject, it will be hard for them to have sufficient comprehension of forming a good daily diet. In addition, in this day and age, the young spend more time at school than any places, so teachers are undoubtedly easy to approach students and share with them the knowledge constantly.

Moreover, family education from fathers and mothers still plays an integral part in helping children to be conscious of the importance of beneficial food. Parents not only have profound impact on training kids about wholesome diets but also shaping their healthy eating habits. This is because parents are the one who decide which meals for the young and whom children learn practically from the way parents eat nutrient-dense food. In particular, a report pointed out that 95% people given daily balanced meals by their parents in the past prefer healthy food rather than junk food when they reach adulthood.

In conclusion, the combination of formal schooling and family education is the most excellent way to improve healthy diet perception of children in light of each side exerting their own influence on young people.