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Jasmine91 Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help to review my essay. Thank you!

Question: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?


My essay:

In recent years, there has been an increasing number of young people in some nations. While there are disadvantages of this phenomenon, I would argue that its advantages are more significant.

Admittedly, young people might not have much experience in work as their older counterparts. It would take more time and resources for youngsters to be trained to be as skillful as senior workers. Moreover, an enormous young population can increase the rate of unemployment because there are too many people at working age who need employment, making the market become strongly competitive. In addition, young people often prefer living in big cities causing concentration in the cities, higher living costs, and shortage of housing. These could also result in social issues such as homelessness, crimes in big cities.

Nevertheless, young population can be beneficial to society in several ways. Firstly, they constitute a large, youthful workforce with a great deal of energy, enthusiasm, creativity. These attributes of young workers can help to increase work productivity which in turn boost the economic development. Secondly, young people, in general, are less likely to be sick, thus they do not depend heavily on hospitals or health care services. This reduces burdens on health care system. Lastly, more young people engaging in the workforce will also contribute to the government’s revenue through tax-payment. The money can be used for social development such as building infrastructure, facilities, and improve welfare system which benefit for society’s citizens.

In conclusion, although there are some drawbacks associated with young population, I believe that the benefits it brings to society are more considerable.

265 words

  

Top answer

In recent years, there has been an increasing proportion number of young people in some nations. While there are disadvantages of this phenomenon , I would argue that its advantages are more significant. Admittedly, young people might not have as much experience in work as their older counterparts.

  • In recent years, there has been an increasing proportion number of young people in some nations.
  • While there are disadvantages of this phenomenon , I would argue that its advantages are more significant.
  • Admittedly, young people might not have as much experience in work as their older counterparts.
  • It would take more time and resources for youngsters (Youngster refers to a child aged 7-12.
  • ) to be trained to be as skillful as senior workers.
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1 Answers
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In recent years, there has been an increasing proportion number of young people in some nations. While there are disadvantages of this phenomenon, I would argue that its advantages are more significant.


Admittedly, young people might not have as much experience in work as thei

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