Please help to check Statement of Purpose

Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Olesya Meronyuk June 08 1990. I was born and grew up in small Ukrainian industrial town, where my parents worked on a big factory. Since my childhood I was aware of the role played by industry in our country and in that period I realized that I want to connect my further life with profession linked with this field. All industries, mining fossils, and everyday life involve using electricity as their integral part. That is why I decided to choose a future profession that is connected with electric power engineering. Over four years of my studies at Kyiv Polytechnic University I obtained the fundamentals of designing and exploiting power complexes and integrated systems of power supply and bachelor degree in electrical engineering field. I don’t want to stop on this achievement and obtain Master's degree in Telemark University College Quota Scheme program for the 2012 fall term.
My aim in Telemark University College is to gain knowledge in monitoring and controlling technical and industrial systems with the view to implementing this knowledge to increase the reliability and efficiency of enterprise and city municipal property power systems. The primary reason why I wish to study at your university is the fact that Norway’s educational system’s standards are among the highest in Europe, and its science has advanced far ahead of that in many countries. It would honour for me to be a student of one of the largest Norway universities and obtain opportunity to get a great studying experience of your country in studying modern technologies.
I always treated with deep interest and responsibility to profession I choose and my first achievement was my bachelor project where I designed an emergency power supply unit of a hospital. Having studied this area in more detail, I faced the necessity to modernize emergency power system. The main reason of this modification was that existing system was equipped with outdated controls and could not provide a high level of reliability compared to technologies that are used in European countries during last few years.
One of the goals to receive knowledge in using modern computerized systems is to obtain an opportunity to track and control power supply system settings. As a result it could increase emergency power systems reliability that could save human lives in future.
Telemark University College Quota Scheme program-is a unique chance for me to enhance my knowledge and make contribution in industrial development in future. I always dreamed to get an education in country with such developed education system like in Norway. On the TOEFL exam day I was very ill and I didn’t have an opportunity to change the exam day. It caused by close University deadline and absence of free places in TOEFT centers to the nearest days. As a result I obtained such low rating. In general me English lever is higher, I took part in international conferences at my university where a had a chance to had a conversation with foreign students and I had enough knowledge to speak and clearly understand them. Now I intensively studying English on specialized courses and at home and to the end of summer I will have much higher level. I ask you to give me a chance and I will justify your trust and prove that it wasn’t a mistake to take my candidacy. It would be a honour to me to take part in Telemark University College Quota Scheme program for the 2012 fall term.