Please help review my IELTS Writing task 2

This is an essay that I've written. If possible, please point out and correct the mistake that I made in this essay. I really appreciate your assistance !!!

Question : Any countries should be able to sell goods to other countries without the restrictions of the government.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ANSWER :

In contemporary times, international trade is a subject of fervent debate. While some argue against government restrictions on trade, I firmly advocate the idea of free trade due to several compelling reasons. Throughout this essay, I will delve into how unrestricted trade significantly impacts economic growth, employment opportunities and technological advancements.

The first argument is that cross-border trading fosters the well-being of citizens. Through exports, enterprises generate substantial revenue from selling goods, partially contributing to the national budget through taxes. Funds collected can subsequently be allocated towards the development of essential public infrastructure such as hospitals and schools, raising the living standard of marginalized population and initiating educational programs for the illiterates.

Another equally critical argument is that unrestricted international commerce helps address the issue of unemployment. Allowing companies to trade freely enables them to establish more commercial relationships, cultivating an optimal environment for growth and expansion. As a result, these firms need to hire more workers to accommodate their expanding operations, thereby offering numerous job opportunities for the unemployed.

Furthermore, international collaborations through unrestricted trade provide access to the latest technological and scientific advancements for poverty-stricken countries via foreign partnership. Wealthy nations can share achievements in technology with economically disadvantaged ones, affording them chances for upliftment from poverty and sustainable development. This sharing of knowledge and resources ultimately narrows the divide between developed and underdeveloped countries, mitigating wealth inequality.

In conclusion, the benefits of unrestricted transnational commerce, including economic growth, job creation and technological advancement, highlight its importance in promoting positive global relationships and shared prosperity.