Please Help Review My IELTS Writing Task 2?

Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a school of thought saying that the workforce should promote the inclusion of the elderly, their physical and mental wellness permitting. I disagree with this perspective as this may beset both the youth and the old.

The major reason why I believe that the elderly should stop working even if they are able to do so is that this can lead to youth unemployment. Today, the job market has already been intensely competitive as more and more job seekers are vying to secure lucrative callings. Therefore, should older people be allowed to remain employed regardless of their age, especially in sought-after domains such as marketing and technology, there will be fewer vacancies for younger people to fill. This means that many more adolescents will become jobless or they will have to resort to low-paying options.

A further rationale behind my opposing older people continuing to work is that they may receive morally base treatment from their employers or co-workers. Undoubtedly, incorporating senior citizens into the workforce is synonymous with the fact these veterans will probably experience ageism in their workplaces. For example, in some places, young employees are more likely to be offered job prospects or promotions than their seniors are though both are equally efficient. Indeed, based on a study into age discrimination at work, some old workers are also reported to receive derogatory remarks from their younger colleagues relating to their age, which somehow damages their self-esteem and mentality.

In conclusion, I disagree with the belief that older workers should sustain their profession if they can, as this may act as a precursor to age discrimination in workplaces and escalating rates of youth unemployment.