Please Help Review My IELTS Writing Task 2?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number etc.) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In this ever-evolving world, the trend of sharing private information on internet-based platforms for networking and banking purposes becomes increasingly omnipresent. While this phenomenon has an adverse bearing on our lives, I would contend that this behavior surely pays dividends to a certain extent.

Opponents of the idea might potentially argue that everyone in their right mind is ill-advised to put their privacy in jeopardy by sharing such information as phone number, address, and the like when using the two aforementioned online services. The information is regarded as a lucrative opportunity for professional hackers to acquire insights into our personal lives, no matter how secure the services may be. Together with technology, trained hackers’ tactics are progressing at a break-neck speed; thus, sharing information freely online entails that we are running the risk of being blackmailed or losing our money if our account is hijacked. As a consequence, some may claim that this behavior should be discouraged by any stretch.

On the other hand, it is understandable why many people subscribe to the view that providing personal information for online agents may effectively accommodate people’s growing demands for socializing and transactions. For one, the advent of artificial intelligence has ushered in an era when personalization proves formidably useful for online users. This prevalent feature, which uses our data to characterize our experience, helps us connect with like-minded people the world over. Effectively, though aware of latent risks, more and more people have compromised to publicize that sensitive personal information to ameliorate their online experience. On top of that, the digital age paves the way for the fact that a large part of the population eschews cash in favor of non-cash methods of payment, which is due to their indubitable convenience. Hence, it is impractical to refuse to share our data with e-cash platform providers, otherwise, they will not let us use this matchless service.

On the balance, with regards to networking and banking purposes, despite some tradeoffs relating to privacy, sharing personal data online should be given precedence so that we receive equivalent experiences in return.

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