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HongNhatTan Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please Help Review My IELTS Writing Task 2?

In some countries, university students live at home, while in other countries, university students go to other cities rather than live with their family. Do you think the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?

In several nations, those pursuing tertiary education prefer to travel to metropolises while others in other parts of the world opt to stay at home. Personally, I gravitate towards the view that the drawbacks of moving to other cities prevail upon its merits.

One of the cogent disadvantages of leaving home for other cities while attending higher education is that students are more vulnerable to several social issues such as bullying or racism. This is because when university students enter a new milieu, their parents’ support does not suffice to safeguard them against militant adults and unlawful activities. Gradually, students tend to neglect their studies at school, hence their subpar academic performances. Furthermore, it is believed that those choosing to go to other cities are prone to homesickness as time goes by. As a result, they tend to experience depressive disorders, potentially suffering from health deterioration.

Nevertheless, I aver that the disadvantages of living away from home pale in comparison with its upsides. Firstly, this may instill a sense of self-discipline and independence into students. Undoubtedly, when moving to other cities, they have to use their culinary skills and handle household chores to organize their life logically, which means they can become more attuned to an independent life earlier than their peers. Indeed, those studying and living in an alien milieu are likely to gain career progression in the future during their time contriving to assimilate themselves into the new community. This is because when they encounter a problem, they must use their initiative, achieve new skills such as problem-solving or communication skills. Thus, they can gain invaluable work-related experience and apply them into work to earn promotion more easily.

In conclusion, though moving to metropolises may afflict students concerning their well-being, I assert that the benefits of this tendency such as becoming autonomous and obtaining indispensable skills outweigh its downsides.

  

Top answer

In several nations, those pursuing tertiary education prefer to travel to metropolises while others in other parts of the world opt to stay at home. (You did not accurately represent the task. It is not a contrast or comparison between countries.

  • In several nations, those pursuing tertiary education prefer to travel to metropolises while others in other parts of the world opt to stay at home.
  • (You did not accurately represent the task.
  • It is not a contrast or comparison between countries.
  • ) Personally, I gravitate towards the view that the drawbacks of moving to other cities prevail upon its merits.
  • ) One of the cogent disadvantages of leaving home to attend university for other cities while attending higher education is that students are more vulnerable to several social issues such as bullying or racism.
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1 Answers
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In several nations, those pursuing tertiary education prefer to travel to metropolises while others in other parts of the world opt to stay at home. (You did not accurately represent the task. It is not a contrast or comparison between countries. ) Personally, I gravitate towards the view that the drawbacks of moving to other cities

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