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Anonymous Posted 9 years ago
Letter Writing
Please help my wording my essay
Hello, I'm applying to a school and they asked us to write an essay about why did we decide to pursue that program. Please help me with my essay below 
(english is not my first language so any correction is welcome).
"
As an individual with 7 years of work experience and a XXX , for me, the decision to pursue a masters in XXX is a long thought decision because it involves various trade-offs. Nevertheless, I took my decision because I see the masters as a knowledge consolidation opportunity, a great chance to gain access to top researchers and practitioners, and an occasion that will provide me with hands on experience in the various aspects of XXX.
First, I see the masters as a knowledge consolidation opportunity. I’ve always aimed at pursuing a career in XXX, however, I felt like gaining practical experience and getting to know various industries would give me an edge when comes the time to enter the field of XXX. Working in various XXX positions for a public utility as well as performing XXX for an aerospace company provided me with solid understanding of those industries, and a good overview of capital intensive businesses in general.
Pursuing my XXX designation also provided me with a broad knowledge about the field of XXX and its various facets. The masters will provide me with a good training and a deeper understanding of the various tools from the XXX curriculum that I will combine with my industry knowledge to become a successful XXX and XXX.
Second, I see the masters as a great occasion to gain access to top researchers and practitioners who will walk us through the latest breakthrough in in XXX theory and XXX theory. The field of XXX in always evolving, therefore, working with great academics that will teach us about the latest developments in XXX as well as other subjects is important to bring added value when coming to the job market.
Third, the masters will provide hands on experience in the various aspects of XXX, as well as connection to professionals and experts from the industry. As I understand, throughout the program, students will work as analysts at XXX Inc., a licensed and regulated XXX firm with an independent board of directors. Major responsibilities will include covering a sector and XXX. This is the missing piece of the puzzle for me in order to be able to make an effective and successful career transition to my targeted field.
In conclusion, the decision to pursue my master’s degree is a well though decision, taking in consideration of all the trade offs. At this point, I see masters as a potential catalyst that can help my career transition given the expected cutting edge training as well as the networking opportunity. "
Thank you very much for your help.
(english is not my first language so any correction is welcome)."
As an individual with 7 years of work experience and a XXX , for me, the decision to pursue a masters in XXX is a long thought decision because it involves various trade-offs. Nevertheless, I took my decision because I see the masters as a knowledge consolidation opportunity, a great chance to gain access to top researchers and practitioners, and an occasion that will provide me with hands on experience in the various aspects of XXX.
First, I see the masters as a knowledge consolidation opportunity. I’ve always aimed at pursuing a career in XXX, however, I felt like gaining practical experience and getting to know various industries would give me an edge when comes the time to enter the field of XXX. Working in various XXX positions for a public utility as well as performing XXX for an aerospace company provided me with solid understanding of those industries, and a good overview of capital intensive businesses in general.
Pursuing my XXX designation also provided me with a broad knowledge about the field of XXX and its various facets. The masters will provide me with a good training and a deeper understanding of the various tools from the XXX curriculum that I will combine with my industry knowledge to become a successful XXX and XXX.
Second, I see the masters as a great occasion to gain access to top researchers and practitioners who will walk us through the latest breakthrough in in XXX theory and XXX theory. The field of XXX in always evolving, therefore, working with great academics that will teach us about the latest developments in XXX as well as other subjects is important to bring added value when coming to the job market.
Third, the masters will provide hands on experience in the various aspects of XXX, as well as connection to professionals and experts from the industry. As I understand, throughout the program, students will work as analysts at XXX Inc., a licensed and regulated XXX firm with an independent board of directors. Major responsibilities will include covering a sector and XXX. This is the missing piece of the puzzle for me in order to be able to make an effective and successful career transition to my targeted field.
In conclusion, the decision to pursue my master’s degree is a well though decision, taking in consideration of all the trade offs. At this point, I see masters as a potential catalyst that can help my career transition given the expected cutting edge training as well as the networking opportunity. "
Thank you very much for your help.
Top answer
With 7 years of work experience and a ***, I believe my decision to pursue a master's in *** is appropriate as I see the program as a knowledge-consolidation opportunity, a great chance to gain access to top researchers and practitioners, and an occasion that will provide me with hands-on experience in the various aspects of ***. First, I’ve always wanted to pursue a career in ***; however, I felt that gaining practical experience and getting to know various industries would give me an edge in the field of ***. Working in various *** positions for a public utility as well as performing *** for an aerospace company have provided me with a solid understanding of those industries and a good overview of capital-intensive businesses in general.
- With 7 years of work experience and a ***, I believe my decision to pursue a master's in *** is appropriate as I see the program as a knowledge-consolidation opportunity, a great chance to gain access to top researchers and practitioners, and an occasion that will provide me with hands-on experience in the various aspects of ***.
- First, I’ve always wanted to pursue a career in ***; however, I felt that gaining practical experience and getting to know various industries would give me an edge in the field of ***.
- Working in various *** positions for a public utility as well as performing *** for an aerospace company have provided me with a solid understanding of those industries and a good overview of capital-intensive businesses in general.
- Pursuing my *** designation also provided me with a broad knowledge about the field of *** and its various facets.
- This master's will give me valuable practical training and a deeper understanding of the various tools from the *** curriculum that I will combine with my industry knowledge to become a successful *** and ***.
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2 Answers
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With 7 years of work experience and a ***, I believe my decision to pursue a master's in *** is appropriate as I see the program as a knowledge-consolidation opportunity, a great chance to gain access to top researchers and practitioners, and an occasion that will provide me with hands-on experience in the various aspects of ***.
First, I’ve always wanted to pursue a career in ***; howeve
First, I’ve always wanted to pursue a career in ***; howeve
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