Please help my with my essay about poverty Thank you all

Question

Every country  has poor people and every  country  has different waysof dealing with the poor.What are some of the reasons for world poverty? What can wedo to help the poor?You should write at least 250 words.Poverty is an issue for every country and society. According to the report of the United Nations, over one billion people live from hand to mouth.Every country tries to solve the problems connected with the poverty.In my opinion,  the reason for poverty is corruption which is widespread in many countries. In actual fact, only developed countries,  where level of corruption is low, successfully cope with poverty.Let's compare New Zealand and a former Soviet Republic, Azerbaijan . It is no coincidence that I have chosen these two countries. From my firsthand experience, I can definitely tell about government programs which is implemented to support people who  are in need.My distant relative lives in New Zealand. After emigration  10 years ago she could  not find a job because of poor knowledge of the English language. She  had to apply for the help to the authorities of New Zealand and at once she got unemployment benefit on which she could afford to rent a decent three- room apartment, food and even some entertainments for her two children at weekends. She also  was given a no-repayable  grant for her education.She had been on benefit for 9 years and all these year the country, of which she even had no citizen but only the permission for residence, supported her and helped her to learn to stand on her feet.Now let's consider my friend who lives in Azerbaijan. She is a citizen of  Azerbaijan and has got three children. Unfortunately, she became a widow several years ago and in addition, she is homeless. Of course, she got a benefit but it is enough only to buy food for a week.  She had to work at two jobs in order to be able to rent a one room flat in a seedy and squalid part of the city without basic conveniences such  as hot running water and heating .  She and her children  hardly manage to survive.To sum up, I want to underline that only developed countries with healthy economy and highly developed democratic values do utmost to support people when they go through difficult time in their lives and in this way they struggle with poverty in their societies.As  for developing countries, their governments should effectively struggle with corruption in order beat poverty in their societies.

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

A few quick comments.

You have too many very short paragraphs. Some of them seem like they can be combined into one.

You have talked mainly about your personal experiences rather than a general analysis of povertry.

You were asked to give the main reasons for poverty. What are they? I can't clearly find them in your essay.

You were asked to suggest ways to help the poor. What are they? I can't clearly find them in your essay.

Perhaps you'd like to rrevwrite this a bit, and repost?

Clive

Milaniyamiila · Answer

Thank you for your feedback

i made alterations

Poverty is an issue for every country and society. According to the report of the United Nations, there are over one billion people live from hand to mouth.

Every country tries to solve the problems with the poverty in its own way. Some are quite successful in their fight with poverty while others hardly manage with it.

In my opinion, the reason for poverty is corruption which is widespread in many developing countries and infringement of fundamental democratic principles.

In actual fact, only developed rich countries, where level of corruption is low and democracy is highly developed, successfully cope with poverty. As for developing countries, where people who wield political power often chose to misapply and abuse it, the standard of living leaves much to be desired and as a result most population live in abject poverty.

In my view, there are some ways of helping the need to overcome the poverty. First of all, more volunteer projects, which are engaged in collecting money, clothes and food for the needy, must be launched. Secondly, more attention must be drawn to development of democracy and uprooting of corruption the developing countries.

To sum up, I want to underline that only developed countries with healthy economy and highly developed democratic values do utmost to support people when they go through difficult time in their lives and in this way they struggle with poverty in their societies.

As for developing countries, their governments should effectively struggle with corruption in order beat poverty in their societies.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

Thank you for your feedback

i made alterations

This is much better.

Poverty is an issue for every country and society. According to the report of the United Nations, there are over one billion people live from hand to mouth.

Every country tries to solve the problems with the poverty in its own way. Some are quite successful in their fight with poverty while others hardly manage with it.

In my opinion, the reason for poverty is corruption which is widespread in many developing countries and infringement of fundamental democratic principles.

I'd combine the above into just one introductory paragraph.

In your introduction, you need to state briefly what reasons and solutions you are going to talk about in the body of your essay.

In actual fact, only developed rich countries, where level of corruption is low and democracy is highly developed, successfully cope with poverty. As for developing countries, where people who wield political power often chose to misapply and abuse it, the standard of living leaves much to be desired and as a result most population live in abject poverty.

In my view, there are some ways of helping the need to overcome the poverty. First of all, more volunteer projects, which are engaged in collecting money, clothes and food for the needy, must be launched. Secondly, more attention must be drawn to development of democracy and uprooting of corruption the developing countries.

I'd make the following just one concluding paragraph.

To sum up, I want to underline that only developed countries with healthy economy and highly developed democratic values do utmost to support people when they go through difficult time in their lives and in this way they struggle with poverty in their societies.

As for developing countries, their governments should effectively struggle with corruption in order beat poverty in their societies.

Essays are all about structure.

In very broad terms, you need to structure your essay like this.

Introduction paragraph.

Introduce the topic of poverty.

State breifly what reasons and solutions you are going to discuss.

One paragaraph for each reason.

One paragraph for each solution.

Alternatively, you can combine each reason and the solution ifor that reason into a single paragraph.

A concluding paragraph,

in which you briefly recap your reasons and sum up your overall opinion.

After you finsh writing, ask yourself this.

Will the reader be able to make a simple list of my reasons?

Will the reader be able to make a simple list of my solutions?

Would you like to try another rewrite?

Clive

Milaniyamiila · Answer

Thanks for your help

Poverty is an issue for every country and society. According to the report of the United Nations, there are over one billion people live from hand to mouth.Every country tries to solve the problems with the poverty in its own way. Some are quite successful in their fight with poverty while others are ably hardly to manage with it.In my opinion, the reason for poverty is corruption which is widespread in many developing countries and infringement of fundamental democratic principles.

If we compare developing and developed countries we will notice that, in actual fact, only developed rich countries, where level of corruption is low and democracy is highly developed, successfully cope with poverty. As for developing countries, where people who wield political power often chose to misapply and abuse it, the standard of living leaves much to be desired and as a result most population live in abject poverty.

Every should make effort in order to control poverty. In my view, there are some ways of helping the need to overcome the poverty. First of all, more volunteer projects, which are engaged in collecting money, clothes and food for the needy, must be launched. Secondly, more attention must be drawn to development of democracy and uprooting of corruption the developing countries.

To sum up, I want to underline that only developed countries with healthy economy and highly developed democratic values do utmost to support people when they go through difficult time in their lives and in this way they struggle with poverty in their societies.As for developing countries, their governments should effectively struggle with corruption in order beat poverty in their societies.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

This is much better. I'm just going to look at your English now.

Poverty is an issue for every country and society. According to the report of the United Nations, there are over one billion people live from hand to mouth.Every country tries to solve the problems with the poverty in its own way. Some are quite successful in their fight with poverty while others are ably hardly to manage with it.In my opinion, the reason for poverty is corruption which is widespread in many developing countries and infringement of fundamental democratic principles.

If we compare developing and developed countries we will notice that, in actual fact,<<< do you need to say this? only developed rich countries, where the level of corruption is low and democracy is highly developed, successfully cope with poverty. As for developing countries, where people who wield political power often chose to misapply and abuse it, the standard of living leaves much to be desired and as a result most of the population live in abject poverty.

Every government should make an effort in order to control poverty. In my view, there are some ways of helping to overcome no article poverty. First of all, more volunteer projects, which are engaged in collecting money, clothes and food for the needy, must be launched. Secondly, more attention must be drawn to the development of democracy and the uprooting of corruption in the developing countries.

To sum up, I want to underline that only developed countries with a healthy economy and highly developed democratic values do their utmost to support people when they go through difficult times in their lives and in this way they who is 'they'? struggle with poverty in their societies.As for developing countries, their governments should effectively struggle with corruption in order to beat poverty in their societies.

I'm going to leave this thread now. Good luck!

Clive

Milaniyamiila · Answer

Thanks a lot, Clive

I have got some question

What does it mean

Please explain me because in a dictionary I have looked up but still i dont understan it NO ARTICLE

helping to overcome no article poverty. NO Zhelping to overcome no articlepoverty. NO ARTICLE POVERTY

To sum up, I want to underline that only developed countries with a healthy economy and highly developed democratic values do their utmost to support people when they go through difficult times in their lives and in this way THESE COUNTRIES struggle with poverty in their societies.As for developing countries, their governments should effectively struggle with corruption in order to beat poverty in their societies.

Thank you once more time

Clive · Answer

Hi,

When I put 'no article', I mean that you had an article there and you should remove it.

eg Don't say helping to overcome the poverty.

Say helping to overcome poverty.

Clive

Milaniyamiila · Answer

thanks a lot

I am very grateful to you

Anonymous · Answer

Thanks a lot for this help...

Please help my with my essay about poverty Thank you all

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