Please help me . Writing task 1

Question

The data given illustrates the number of Australia in 2 sexes, divided by age groups, did regular physical activity in 2010 Overall, it was a fluctuation in the number of people did regular physical activity in Australia . The proportion of 25 to 64 year old female was higher than the percentage of male at the same age. From 15 to 54 year old, Australian female's percentage doing RPA are found a slight rise. The figures reached a peak in 45 to 54, at 53,3%. Compare with men and women, women's percentage is higher than men's percentage (43,1%)doing RPA over 10%. In 65 and over, the number of women doing RPA accounted for 47,1%. There is not a great deal of difference between the proportion of man , which made up 46,7%, and women. There was a steady decline in the number of male did RPA in 15 to 44. In 45and over, however, man's percentage doing RPA was slowly growth again. The highest number of man doing RPA in 15 to 24, which is 52,8%, and the lowest in 35 to 44, accounting for 39,5%.

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AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You need to write in paragraphs. In general, for Task 1, write paragraphs with these topics:

1. Introduction - describe the data.
2. General observations
3. Significant details
4. Conclusions (optional)

Most of your writing is ungrammatical or awkward and unnatural. I marked the problematic areas.

What is RPA? You use this acronym without defining it, and it is not a well-known abbreviation that the reader would know.

The data ~~given~~ (what type of graphic is it?) illustrates the number of Australia (Does Australia have a number?) in 2 sexes, divided by age groups, (missing word) did regular physical activity in 2010 Overall, it was a fluctuation (wrong word) in the number of people (missing word) did regular physical activity in Australia . The proportion of 25 to 64 year old female (wrong form) was higher than the percentage of male (wrong form) at the same age. From 15 to 54 year old, Australian female's percentage doing RPA (??) are found a slight rise. (wrong usage) The figures (??) reached a peak in 45 to 54, at 53,3%. Compare (wrong form) with men and women, (wrong usage) women's percentage is higher than men's percentage (43,1%)doing RPA over 10%. In 65 and over, the number of women doing RPA accounted for 47,1%. There is not a great deal of difference between the proportion of man , which made up 46,7%, and women. There was a steady decline in the number of male (wrong form) did RPA in 15 to 44. In 45and over, however, man's percentage doing RPA was slowly growth again. The highest number of man doing RPA in 15 to 24, which is 52,8%, and the lowest in 35 to 44, accounting for 39,5%.

Here is a model answer for you to study:

Introductory paragraph. This paragraph tells what kind of graphic it is, the subject, and relevant attributes such as the date, and the x-axis and y-axis units or labels.

The bar chart compares the percentages of Australian men versus women who did regular physical activity, divided into six age groups.  The data is from one year, 2010. The six age groups are: 15 to 24, 25 to 34, 35 to 44, 45 to 54, 55 to 64 and over 64.

General Observations: This paragraph gives an overview of the data and the most significant observations.

In round numbers, the data ranged between 39% and 53%.  Except for the youngest age group, more women than men participated in regular exercise. The gender gap was highest in the middle age groups, about a 12% gap for the 35-to-44 year olds, and 10% for the next higher age group. This gap was narrowest (less than 1%)  in the 65-and-over age group, about 47% for both sexes. The data showed age-dependent patterns, rather than random variations.

Details:

For men, the percentage was highest, nearly 53%, for the youngest age group. It declined to a low of about 40% for the 35-to-44 year olds, and then increased again to 47% in the oldest age group.  For women, the data was more consistent; there was less variation. In the youngest age group, about 47% did regular exercise.  This rose slightly (about 5%) to 52-53 percent in the middle age groups (35 to 64), and then declined to about 47% in the oldest age group.

Please help me . Writing task 1

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