Please help me. writing task 1

Question

the pie chart provides a breakdown of reason why people choose go to work by bicycle or by car.

looking at the pie chart. It is immediately obivous that the percentage of people claimming that driving feel comfortable is highest , at 40%. By contrast , the figure for health and fitness is slightly lower, at 30% which is exactly the same as the quantity for the reason of less pollution. An other hand, the reason for driving more than cycling go to company because thay need to carry things to work and safer thang cycling at 14% and 11% respectively. 13 % of people cycle to work because it is cheaper than driving. besides, the amount of people say that driving to work is faster than cycling at 14%. this contrast with the cyclists who ride to work because it is faster than driving at 12 %. Meanwhile , the people don't worry about the parking problem when they go by bicycle but those who trave by car feel more comfortable journey over longer distance

Doctor D · Accepted Answer

There are many grammatical problems with this essay. We will get to those shortly. I also corrected your spelling. However, the first big problem is organization. You need to separate driving remarks from cycling remarks. Or you need another form of organization. Here is one way to approach it:

The pie chart provides a breakdown of the major reasons why

The pie chart provides a breakdown of the major reasons why people choose go to work by bicycle or by car. [Introductory sentence is fine.]

~~looking at the pie chart.~~ It is immediately obvious that the percentage of people claiming that driving makes them feel comfortable is ~~highest ,~~ at 40%, the biggest reason. By contrast, the two major reasons ~~figure~~ for people who cycle are health and fitness ~~is slightly lower,~~ at 30% and ~~which is exactly the same as the quantity for the reason of~~ less pollution, also at 30%. [This paragraph discussed "major reasons." Now you need to go to a new topic, so make a new paragraph.]

~~An other hand,~~ Other reasons to prefer driving over cycling are ~~the reason for driving more than cycling go to company~~ because they are too far from work to cycle there (22%), they need to carry things to work (14%), or they believe driving is safer than cycling ~~at 14% and~~ (11%) ~~respectively~~. On the other hand, ~~13 % of~~ people cycle to work because it is cheaper than driving (13%) and they don't have to worry about parking (15%) . besides, the amount of people say that driving to work is faster than cycling at 14%. this contrast with the cyclists who ride to work because it is faster than driving at 12 %. Meanwhile , the people don't worry about the parking problem when they go by bicycle but those who travel by car feel more comfortable journey over longer distance [This paragraph is about minor reasons why people driver or cycle to work. So talk first about drivers, then about cyclists. Don't go back and forth, especially without saying which group you are talking about.]

Interestingly enough, some drivers think they are getting to work faster than cyclists (14%) while an almost equal number of cyclists think they are getting to work faster than drivers (12%)! [This is just a fun fact, so it makes a good closing sentence.]

Okay. I hope this is clear. Boldface are my words; crossouts are your words that I am rewriting; italics in brackets are my organizational comments. Let me know if you have any questions.

Please help me. writing task 1

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