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Hjoi Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Please help me write this sentence

A wise man once told me jealously drives people to kill and that the only way to live a successful life is to be humble and modest around those who might otherwise evoke it.

Should I replace 'it' with jealously?

Could I rewrite this sentence so that it reads better?

Thank you!
  

Top answer

The sentence is pretty much OK. "jealously" should be "jealousy". I would suggest: A wise man once told me that jealousy drives people to kill , and that the only way to live a successful life is to be humble and modest around those who might otherwise evoke it.

— GPY

  • The sentence is pretty much OK.
  • "jealously" should be "jealousy".
  • I would suggest: A wise man once told me that jealousy drives people to kill , and that the only way to live a successful life is to be humble and modest around those who might otherwise evoke it.
  • "that" is not strictly necessary, but I would personally include it.
  • Likewise the comma.
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3 Answers
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The sentence is pretty much OK. "jealously" should be "jealousy". I would suggest:

A wise man once told me that jealousy drives people to kill, and that the only way to live a successful life is to be humble and modest around those who might otherwise evoke it.

"that" is not strictly necessary, but I would personally include it. Likewise the comma. "it" is fi
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Thanks that's what I thought. After reading back the sentence, I am not sure if 'otherwise' is a redundant word. Could you clarify this please.

Thanks!
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The word "otherwise" reinforces the idea that feelings of jealousy do not actually arise when you are humble and modest. However, it is not essential.

Edit: Hmmm, the message I was replying to seems to have disappeared.
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