Please help me with Writing Task 1?!!

Question

The bar chart demonstrates the projected and actual numbers of people in million in three different cities in 1990 and 2000.

As reflected in the chart, the predicted data of three cities was higher than the actual one during the time frame. Additionally, an upbeat trend was predicted to dominate in the population of these cities in 2000, likewise, the actual figure experienced a minor ascent with a noticeable exception of Shanghai.

São Paulo topped the chart in 1990 with 15 million people, nearly doubling the figure of Jakarta. Though forecast to rise by 9 million in the following year, this figure marginally swelled to 18 million, which was 6 million lower than predicted. Likewise, departing at a low of 8 million at the beginning of the period, Jakarta was projected to witness an approximately two-fold increase in 2000; however, only a three-million augmentation was seen in reality.

By contrast, the population of Shanghai was expected to accumulate by 4 million people (13 versus 17) between 1990 and 2000. Conversely, in fact, this figure ended the period by a drop to 12 million in 2000.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Vocabulary for Task 1 - Avoid anthropomorphic verbs when describing data: see, witness, experience. Use these words for newspaper reports, stories, Task 2 essays, or historical accounts. They are not appropriate in a math / scientific context.
The word "figure" is tricky. It is not used for general data points. It is used mostly in financial and business contexts. Try to use pronouns instead.

The bar chart demonstrates (wrong word) the projected and actual numbers of people living in million (wrong form) in three different cities in 1990 and 2000. (What are the names of these cities? Include this information in the first paragraph.)

When we use "demonstrate," it is followed by a conclusion expressed in a that-clause. For example:

The bar chart demonstrates that forecasts made in 1990 overestimated the populations of these three large cities in developing countries for the year 2000.

~~As reflected in the chart, t~~The predicted populations ~~data~~ of the three cities were ~~was~~ higher than the actual ones during the time frame. (inaccurate phrase. The prediction was made in 1990 for the year 2000. A time frame is a general period of time. Here the chart is referring only to 2 distinct points in time, and nothing in between them. The reader still does not know what cities you are talking about. ) Additionally, an upbeat (Upbeat means "happy." This is not a good word to use.) trend was predicted to dominate in (wrong phrase) the population of these cities in 2000, (comma splice error) likewise, the actual figure (which one?) ~~experienced~~ had a minor ascent with a noticeable exception of Shanghai.

São Paulo topped the chart (This is very casual language, and is not very good. Instead: São Paulo was the most populous of the three cities) in 1990 with 15 million people, nearly double that ~~doubling the figure~~ of Jakarta. Though forecast to rise by 9 million in the following year, (One year? The following year after 1990 is 1991.) ~~this figure~~ it marginally swelled (Marginally means "a very small amount" and swell means "increase by a very large amount." These two words do not go together because they have opposite meanings. ) to 18 million, which was 6 million lower than predicted. Likewise, departing (wrong word) at a low of 8 million at the beginning of the period, Jakarta's population was projected to double / increase by a factor of two ~~witness an approximately two-fold increase~~ in 2000; however, there was only a rise of three million ~~augmentation was seen~~ in reality.

By contrast, the population of Shanghai was expected to add ~~accumulate by~~ 4 million people (rising from 13 ~~versus~~ to 17) between 1990 and 2000. Conversely, in fact, it this figure ended the period with by a drop to 12 million in 2000.

Please help me with Writing Task 1?!!

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