Please help me with this Writing task 1 of Ielts

The line graph shows the comparison of number of visits to two music websites namely Music Choice and Pop Parade in 15 days.

In generall, it is clear that Pop Parade was by far the most popular site for music lovers over the period shown. Music Choice fluctuated during the last five days.

Now, turing to the details. In the first day, the figure for Pop Parade shows that it was the main source of music for people, generating around 120.000 visits. While Music Choice had less than 1/3 visits in the first day but it was half as popular as Pop site in the next two day. Both the figures for both websites then went down and fluctuated during the next 4 days.

From the 9^th day, the viewers for Pop Parade increased dramatically to 150.000 visits in 11^th day. Just one day later, Music Choice gained popularity and overtook Pop site as the primary source of music at 120.000 visits whereas their opponent had only around 80.000 visits. Although Pop Parade started to rise sharply and hit the highest point at 180.000 explorers, Music Choice saw a moderable fall to approximately 80.000 new visitors in the last day.