Please help me with this paragraph

Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world.

What are your opinions on this?

My paragraph is below:

Nowadays, because of the brilliant development of computing technology, children can access to game more easily than ever before. Besides useful games which educate children, but violent games cause harmful issues such as rude and negative attitude for them. There is an opinion that children today play very violent games and this must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities for the the world. In my view, I relatively agree with this opinion.

There are severe reasons why violent games lead to the increase in young people. In the free time, children are often attracted to go online and battle with their friends through many hours. As we can see, the senses of murder, shooting, killing and rape of games such as GTA, etc can negatively affect their brain. Children who play violent games very much at childhood and adolescence, when their brain is very sensitive will be more impatient and aggressive, as a result, they will be potential to commit misconduct at adulthood. Severe years ago, the boy murdered his grandparents cruelly and horribly because they had just rejected giving their money to his to play games. That is very dangerous for our society.

On the other hand, there are factors such as poverty, the environmental they live, the family they grow and especially the media beside violent games regarding to this problem. These also influence over our children’s thoughts and actions to do an offence.

In summary, I think that violent games play major role in the violence and crime rates in our world. Therefore, their parents should educate and monitor them more regularly. Laws also need to be implemented to decrease the crime rates in young people.