Please help me with this IELTS task 2 essayyy

Thank you very much for comments and help

Topic: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

My essay:

People have diffrent views about how governments should measure their countries' progress. While economic progress is of course have a major impact on the development of a nation, I agree with the idea that there are other types of progress much more important.

There are two key reasons why economic growth is seen as a fundamental goal for a country. Firstly, a healthy economy results in job creation, a high level of employment and better salaries for citizens. Also, a strong economy can help a country's standing on the global stage, in terms of its political influence and trading power.

On the other hand, I believe that various other forms of progress are just significant as the economic factors mentioned above. In particular, developing economy but forgetting other types of progress creayes a variety of problems, such as overpopulation, climate change,...As the most compelling evidence, Brazilians have encouraged a lot of deforestation for agricultural development, which created a lot of forest fires in the Amazon forest. Without any doubt, this activity is detrimental for nature because this phenomenon reduced 15% the oxygen in the atmosphere, resulted in the death of many people and animals. Hence, governments have to concern about other types of progress like enviroment, social justice human rights, equality, education system,....Alternatively, the success of a nation could be measured by looking at the health, living accommodation, well-being and happiness of its residents.

In conclusion, although economic progress is necessary, since it has brought many advantages to a county development, I think social, enviromental and health criteria are equally significant.