Please, help me with this essay! Many thanks to all you!

Question

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

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There are concerns about plastic products used daily, such as bags, bottles, and other similar things in many countries. While it is argued about what the demerits of plastics on the environment are, I believe that citizens and the authorities should take some possible measures to tackle those issues.

There is no denying that the environment suffers from significant drawbacks when humans regularly produce and use plastics. It is widely assumed that deforestation is occurring at an alarming rate, one of which is associated with plastic products, which are difficult to dispose of. This means that humans tend to cut down more wood to build new landfills, leading to the loss of habitats for native animals and plants. Furthermore, plastic products are likely to have negative effects on food chains, particularly on aquatic creatures. If plastic waste is thrown away, poor species will accidentally swallow it, thus not recognizing that it is not food.

However, each person and their state office should take potential actions to minimize those damaging consequences. Firstly, the government could foster citizens’ awareness of environmental protection by limiting the use of plastic products and banning deforestation. Besides, they are able to introduce new rules, such as applying new taxes on using or manufacturing plastic products, helping reduce the amount of plastic generated. Finally, waste, including plastic, should be gathered and processed by chemicals to avoid the chance for animals to eat it.

In conclusion, I personally find some solutions to address the demerits of plastic products in nature, such as promoting knowledge in the community or processing them carefully before throwing them away. If humans had no actions, there would no longer be a wonderful environment with green forests and innocent species in the future.

(289 words)

Teechr · Accepted Answer

Some comments:

1- Deforestation has nothing to do with plastics! You need to think of another point instead. Can you do that?

2- Plastic does not easily degrade; it takes thousands of years for it to do so. You need to mention that in your essay.

3- You should consider also talking about biodegradable materials/packaging in the solutions paragraph.

4- Do not introduce new ideas in the conclusion. Just summarize the main points from the body paragraphs.

5- Avoid waffle and DO NOT complicate your phrasing. The examiner wants to see that you can think of persuasive ideas and that you can present them in clear and grammatical sentences.

Revise your essay, and repost it below.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

There are concerns about plastic products used daily, such as bags, bottles, and other similar things in many countries. While it is argued about what the demerits (Wrong word) of plastics on the environment are, I believe that citizens and the authorities should take some possible measures (That is off-topic. The prompt is not about the choice of whether or not to do something, but what can be done. Focus exactly on the prompt.) to tackle those issues.

There is no denying that the environment suffers ~~from significant drawbacks~~ (unnatural phrase) when ~~humans~~ ,(We do not usually use "humans" except when comparing with other species.) people /we regularly produce and use plastics. It is widely assumed that deforestation (unrelated off-topic. ) is occurring at an alarming rate, one of which is associated with plastic products, which are difficult to dispose of. This means that humans tend to cut down more wood to build new landfills, leading to the loss of habitats for native animals and plants. (off topic) Furthermore, plastic products are likely to have negative effects on food chains, particularly on aquatic creatures. If plastic waste is thrown away, poor (wrong word) species will accidentally swallow it, ~~thus~~ not recognizing that it is not food.

However, each person and their state office should take potential actions to minimize those damaging consequences. ~~Firstly~~, First, the government could foster citizens’ awareness of environmental protection by limiting the use of plastic products and banning deforestation. (off-topic) Besides, they are able to introduce new rules, such as applying new taxes on using or manufacturing plastic products, helping reduce the amount of plastic generated. Finally, waste, including plastic, should be gathered and processed by chemicals to avoid the chance for animals to eat it.

In conclusion, I personally find some solutions to address the demerits of plastic products in nature, such as promoting knowledge in the community or processing them carefully before throwing them away. If humans had (We take action, not "have" actions) no actions, there would no longer be a wonderful environment with green forests (off-topic) and innocent species in the future.

A demerit is a bad mark on a person's record. The opposite is "credit".

The 28-year-old Belconnen man was fined $644 and lost four demerit points.
None of us should speed and this is why we have fines and demerit points.
Rewards can be earned by being nice to people, but driving badly could result in a demerit.

Loan Tran · Answer

Thanks Teechr and AlpheccaStars so much for your comments!
This is my new essay, would you like to help me?
Many thanks!
______***______

There are concerns about plastic products used daily, such as bags, bottles, and other similar things in many countries. While it is argued about what the drawbacks of plastics to the environment are, I believe that citizens and the authorities could take some measures to tackle those issues.

There is no denying that the environment suffers from significant drawbacks when people regularly produce and use plastics. One of the problems associated with plastics is that the authorities must tend to cut down more wood to build new landfills, leading to the loss of massive amounts of land replaced by dumps because it will take hundreds of years for plastic bags or bottles to be disposed of in nature. Furthermore, plastic products are likely to have negative effects on food chains, particularly on aquatic creatures. If plastic waste is thrown away, species will accidentally swallow it as they hardly recognize that it is not food.

However, each person and their governments should take potential actions to minimize those damaging consequences. First, the government could foster citizens’ awareness of environmental protection by limiting the use of plastics. Besides, they are able to introduce new rules, such as applying new taxes on using or manufacturing plastic products, thus helping reduce the amount of them. Finally, waste, including plastic, should be gathered and processed by chemicals to avoid the chance for animals to eat it.

In conclusion, I personally find some solutions to address the damage caused by plastic products in nature, such as promoting knowledge in the community or processing them carefully before throwing them away. If people had no actions, there would no longer be a wonderful environment in the future.

(279 words)

Please, help me with this essay! Many thanks to all you!

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