Please help me with this essay:

In China, more and more people try their best to attend college or university. What are the reasons that make people long for that?
Some Chinese strive to acquire only a high school diploma. While many other ones try to earn diplomas of higher education by entering colleges and universities. And as far as I am concerned, Chinese students choose to pursue additional formal education at colleges and universities for the following reasons.
To begin with, winning, career, opportunities are getting more competitive in China as its large population is increasing rapidly. Thus, chances for people with less education to come out on top are not high. I concur that there may be wealthy but illiterate men and women in this country. But in fact most people with less education struggle just to find decent jobs. Despite this fact, university-educated individuals generally earn more money, drive better cars, and live in good houses.
Secondly, people particularly Chinese want higher education for it makes for higher social positions. A study of history reveals that almost all honored and renowned individuals around the world are highly educated. This is true because people tend to respect and admire academic individuals much more {as opposed to the alternative. (Edit 1)}

than nonacademic ones. For instance, my elder cousin living in Hong Kong is greatly honored in his neighborhood just because he is a doctor. On the other hand, my younger cousin receives no great respect and admiration since he has no university degree.
By way of conclusion, those determined to go beyond high school education and enter colleges and universities are much more likely to find better jobs, gain more respect, and ultimately lead better lives. However, people with less or no formal education constantly struggle with many hardships in their lives.