Please help me with this essay

Question

The graph shows the population figures of different types of wild birds in the United Kingdom between 1970 and 2004.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My essay is below.

The line graph depicts the changes of the population figures of wild birds in the United Kingdom from 1970 to 2004. Overall, despite the fact that the quantity of the separate birds has changed significantly, the total number of the wild birds only increases slightly over the last three decades.

For the first seven years, the amount of each type boosted by more than ten present. The population of coastal species had increased rapidly and reached a peak of nearly 40% in 1991. After that the quantity of them is relatively stable to the end of the period.

The trend of others is very opposite to coastal species, the population of farmland species decreased considerably and hit the lowest point of nearly 50% in 1998, which followed by a stable remain to the year 2004. There was also the loss of the number of woodland species after it had peaked at nearly 110% in 1977. Having said that, it continued to hit the lowest point at above 80% in 1992 but finally recovered slightly to the end.

Thank you so much.

Tùng Nguyễn Quang · Accepted Answer

The graph shows the population figures of different types of wild birds in the United Kingdom between 1970 and 2004.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My essay is below.

The line graph depicts the changes of the population figures of wild birds in the United Kingdom from 1970 to 2004. Overall, despite the fact that the quantity of the separate birds has changed significantly, the total number of the wild birds only increases slightly over the last three decades.

For the first seven years, the amount of each type boosted by more than ten present. The population of coastal species had increased rapidly and reached a peak of nearly 40% in 1991. After that the quantity of them is relatively stable to the end of the period.

The trend of others is very opposite to coastal species, the population of farmland species decreased considerably and hit the lowest point of nearly 50% in 1998, which followed by a stable remain to the year 2004. There was also the loss of the number of woodland species after it had peaked at nearly 110% in 1977. Having said that, it continued to hit the lowest point at above 80% in 1992 but finally recovered slightly to the end.

Thank you so much!

Persian Learner · Answer

Hi,

Please stop posting your essays in the Sentence Structure forum - here is the right place for that:

I hope it does not happen again.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The line graph depicts the changes in of the population ~~figures~~ (Avoid the word "figure" in Task 1. In a science article, a "figure" is a diagram, chart, or table inserted with the text into a publication. ) of wild birds in the United Kingdom from 1970 to 2004. ~~Overall, despite the fact that the quantity of the separate birds has changed significantly, the total number of the wild birds only increases slightly over the last three decades.~~

In paragraph 1, just describe the figure. What kind of figure is it? What type of information does it have? What are the annotations on the X- and Y axes? What are the units of measurement? What categories of data does it contain?

Do not mention the data values in the figure.

It is useful to look at the figure and list noun phrases to put in the first paragraph. This is the list I would make for this figure. All of these are important to give the reader an accurate and complete description.

1. line graph

2. 4 curves

3. three categories / types of wild bird species: woodland, coastal, farmland

4. X-axis: years 1970-2004.

5. period of twenty-four years

6. numbers of species per category

7. United Kingdom

8. Y-axis: 1970 index (percent change relative to the numbers recorded in 1970)

In the second paragraph, give two or three significant observations.

- the overall total wild bird population (111 species) varied, but stayed within 10% of the 1970 population
- the populations of the 19 woodland species suffered a significant decline. In 2004 they were at about half the number observed in 1970.
- The 33 coastal species thrived, with their population numbers increasing to 140% of their 1970 levels

-
In the third paragraph, give some details.

For the first seven years, the amount of each type boosted (wrong word) by more than ten present. The population of coastal species had increased rapidly and reached a peak of nearly 40% in 1991. After that the quantity of them (wrong phrase - unnatural) is relatively stable to the end of the period.

The trend of others is very opposite to coastal species, (comma splice error) the population of farmland species decreased considerably and hit the lowest point of nearly 50% in 1998, which (missing word) followed by a stable (stable as a noun, means a barn where horses are kept. ) remain (remain is a verb. It is not used correctly here) to the year 2004. There was also the loss of the number of woodland species (incorrect. The number of woodland species is 33. A change in that number is not shown.) after it had peaked at nearly 110% in 1977. ~~Having said that,~~ it continued to hit the lowest point at above 80% in 1992 but finally recovered slightly to the end.

Please help me with this essay

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