Please help me with this delicate matter

Question

This is an email I need to send to a coworker. Please correct it kindly.

I'm so sorry I couldn't talk to you before. I'm so embarrased to ask you, but I have a doubt and I need to do it. Was my DH invited to your wedding or not? You probably heard that It's been so hectic latly in our household that when I respond to your invitation I don't think my DH was included, but I still wrote its name accepting on the invitation card, sorry!

As well, I heard from others at work that in fact we were invited alone to the party. Which confirmed my confusion. If that's the case X is perfectly ok with it, and X will be happy to attend only the church ceremony, not a problem. I'm been complety honest because of our freindship I expect the same from you guys.

Thanks and sorry to put you on the spot.

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi Chasco,

Welcome to the Forum.

I've made some changes and comments. Please read carefully.

Best wishes, Clive

This is an email I need to send to a coworker. Please correct it kindly.

I'm so sorry I couldn't talk to you before. I'm so embarrassed to ask you, but Im not sure about something. Was my DH ( what is a DH?) invited to your wedding or not? You've probably heard that it's been so hectic lately in our household. When I respond to your invitation I didn't think my DH was included, but I still wrote its (his/her) name on the reply card, sorry!

As well, I heard from others at work that in fact only we were invited to the reception. This has made me more confused. If that's the case, X is perfectly ok with it, and X will be happy to attend only the church ceremony. It's not a problem. I'm being complety honest because of our friendship. I expect the same from you guys. I would omit these last two sentences, particularly the last one. It's like telling your friends 'Don't tell lies to me', which is a rude thing to say.

Best wishes, Clive

Anonymous · Answer

Gracias Clive.

DH stands for Dear Husband, I've seen it used in some parenting magazines. I'm sorry I started using DH and then I switched to X.

I loved your quote obout el tango.

Chasco

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry Clive, but so how would you suggest I finish the last paragraph then?
Really when I respond to this invitation I thought my husband was in fact invited, but after I've heard from others at the office, I was not sure anymore. My husband and I are closer to the couple and he is the expection in this respect with the my coworker's spouses.

could I just say

Thank you for your understanding. or something on this lines?

Thank you
Chasco

BarbaraPA · Answer

I'm not sure you have a writing problem so much as an ettiquette problem. Ettiquette says that married people are both invited to the wedding, and generally engaged couples as well. No one should ever assume that a girlfriend/boyfriend or other significant other is invited, but I think it's understandable that you thought that you would both be invited, since you are married. If your friend did intend to invite only you, it was a breach of ettiquette.

Can you simply change the last paragraph to say "Please let me know if Jim should plan to attend only the ceremony at the church, or if you intended for him to attend the reception as well? I'm sorry if my assumption has caused any awkwardness."

(Although it is the bride who caused the awkwardness by inviting only you, you can reach out to make amends with your own apology first.)

Chasco · Answer

Thank you for your words. It is not only ettiquette, trust me when English is not your first language one is always troubled thinking wether one is using the right words or not, more so in a situation like this one where you really like not to confused the situation even more. Thanks again.

Chasco

Please help me with this delicate matter

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