please help me with the SOP

Your postgraduate degree is the perfect platform for my ambitions because of my excellent academic and professional excellence, emphasis on finance, and the industry-oriented environment. Exposure to the finance industry in UK will give me a great opportunity to learn in a totally different environment with a diverse culture. The studies at UK provides me the rare combination of accelerated growth and the flexibility to get on challenging career paths, be it through continuous learning or larger responsibilities.
My junior college education at S.I.E.S College laid the roots for the development of my knowledge in finance and economics. My eagerness to learn more and to know more about the subject led me to choose Economics as a major subject in my final year of graduation. I studied 6 units of economics in the final year of Under Graduation where I developed strong theoretical, analytical and quantitative skills. Academically, I have always been regarded as a good student having been awarded merit certificates throughout my university education.
My past work experience with ICICI Securities Ltd gave me knowledge of both corporate and investment banking products. I was responsible for providing financial solution to the top tier clients, managing portfolios of existing clients and was also accountable for growing the business through client acquisitions and cross selling, with emphasis on Capital Market and investment banking products. I have developed skills like maintaining existing business relationships, implementing product and credit strategies for business growth and had contributed effectively to the profitability of the company, while optimizing risk. I had also achieved the highest level of client satisfaction by advising the right product to the clients to achieve their financial goals. I was awarded with business excellence award for Maximum business generation across Indian branches.
Presently, I am working with Deutsche Bank Operations International as an Analyst where I analyze high aged trades in the company’s portfolio, identifying unknown or not reported trades and report them to the respective business head. I provide business management and business support for TMG Group (Transaction Management Group) which includes Risk reporting and Performance reporting for the business heads. I am currently part of Trade Support team where functionalities includes amending and forwarding of live market trades in ESPEAR (Settlement System) for Equity Derivatives and Debt Products, providing solutions to management to maintain Operational Risk of the Bank with respect to various policies. I individually handled a process improvement project relating unallocated, unverified trades and its risk to the bank and was awarded with Spot of the month award.
Apart from academic interest, I also have a diverse experience in extracurricular activities. I took part in a social marketing event which was jointly organized by our college and an NGO to help the poor and handicap children. I also took part in a social awareness project .i.e. HMS (health in your hand). I have also been the secretary of an association and have helped in the organization of various events. I volunteered an international conference organized jointly by welcome trust of London and our college which aimed to create an awareness of the importance of the medical history. I am a regular reader of Economic Times, Times of India and Hindustan Times; enjoy keeping up with the current affairs and business news. I actively participated in recreational activities including quiz and sports competition as well.
I have always enjoyed and been strong in the area that require problem solving, analytical and mathematical skill. I am anxious to combine the knowledge of, and aptitude for; these skills with my interest in finance. Finance had always fascinated me right from my undergraduate studies. Indian financial system a 3rd year undergraduate subject aroused in me a keen appreciation of the discipline of finance field. I got motivated while doing a project on the financial institution which provided me an opportunity to learn different financial sectors in India. All this has led me to aspire a career path in finance.
My initial goal is to learn more about the subject and to acquire the in depth knowledge about the subject. I want to increase my knowledge in the areas such as foreign exchange market, hedging foreign exchange risk, international capital budgeting.
I have selected the Msc program of this university because of the outstanding faculty and research facilities, emphasis on a collaborative learning environment, flexibility in curriculum, study abroad opportunity and a global perspective to various key issues. I hope to become a part of this dynamic culture which will give me a leading edge to work effectively in diverse teams and situations.