Please help me with my writing task 2

Dear IELTS examiner, could you score my writing task 2 essay? Please give me some feedback. Thanks in advance!

Topic: An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healthcare costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

The rising number of obese children has been a major concern in many countries for years. This problem will not only affect kids' health but also cost a lot of treatment cost. In this essay, I will analyze the causes behind this issue and discuss some potential solutions.

To begin with, there are several factors that can lead to obesity among children. Fast food is known for its affordable price and tastiness. Therefore, many children prefer it to other fresher and more nutritious food. However, junk food contains a huge amount of calories and harmful preservatives. Regular consumption of fattening products will result in rapid weight gain. Another cause for this problem is that youngsters nowadays tend to follow a sedentary lifestyle and have unhealthy dietary habits.

Second, childhood obesity can be solved if families and schools join hands to help their kids. Eating fast food on a daily basis will lead to numerous health problems like diabetes, cancer,... Therefore, parents should encourage their children to take regular exercise and minimize their intake of fast food. Additionally, more physical education lessons must be conducted in schools because playing sports such as football and swimming will help burn calories, thus loose weight and keep fit.

In conclusion, children becoming overweight mainly because of their bad food choices and lack of exercise. The only way to tackle this issue is to encourage more physical activities and limit the amount of fatty food consumed by kids.