Please help me with my writing task 2.

TOPIC:

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My essay

Nowadays, phones have taken an important part in our lives and definitely in the future. Moreover, how to use the phone smartly is also an intriguing topic for society. Concerning children, are they able to use phones? On a cultural level, some people believe that children must not use phones during the school day and others think they should be allowed. To me, permission to use phones during the school day is a great idea.
Many people think children should not use phones probably due to the bad effects they have such as being addicted to games, vision-worsening, or even making bad performances in classes. Furthermore, using phones all day can make the children shy, unconfident when they socially communicate. Those who do not use carefully will be affected for sure, but we should remember that all problems can be solved directly by humans.
What we should notice is that using technical devices like phones has lots of advantages, which outperformed their drawbacks. To illustrate the point, hundred of experiments of advanced countries like Japan, American, Russia were taken and this gave out optimistic results. Consequently, they showed that intellectually using phones can boost the children's ability to acquire knowledge, cultivate their mental development and give them a well-rounded perspective of life.
In my opinion, when children are allowed to use phones and get support from their teachers, they can discover new things positively, to be more likely to study on their own instead of relying on education program.
To summarize, we know that when the pupils using phones, there will be certain risks, but we can't deny that phones do a favor for children if they use in the right way within the probation of adults. So, let them use to see good changes.