Please help me with my Writing Part 1 IELTS. Thank you very much.

Question

The line graph shows the number of tourists that a particular Caribbean island attracted from 2010 to 2017.

It is clear that while more people prefer staying on cruise ships to staying on the island in 2010, it was the island that became the more preferable at the end of the period. However, when coming together, there was consistent growth in the total number.

In 2010, 0.75 million visitors chose to stay on the island compared to 0.25 million people that chose the cruise ships. Between 2011 and 2013, the number of stay on the island visitors increased twofold, from 0.75 million to 1.5 million. By contrast, the figure for cruise-ships stays fluctuated and returned to the number of 2011.

From 2013 to 2015, the number of stays on the island remained unchanged, while the figure for staying on cruise ships increased from 0.5 million to 1.25 million. In the middle of the 2015 - 2016 period, the numbers of visitors staying on cruise ships and staying on the island were equal, at under 1.5 million. The number of staying on the island continued to fluctuate until rose back to 2015's figure. On the other hand, stays on cruise ships saw a 1.6 times increase at the end of the period.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

Please attach an image of what you are writing about. We cannot help you if we can't see the figure. Add a reply or comment to this thread with the image.

I see that you have some very common errors.

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. Make the necessary corrections to your essay and post the revised version.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The line graph shows the number of tourists that vacationed on a particular Caribbean island ~~attracted~~ from 2010 to 2017. (Your paragraph is incomplete. You have not mentioned the data for cruise ship passengers and those who just came to the island. So if the reader just goes by your description, there is only one curve on the line graph. Your next points, which mentions ships, are very confusing. )

~~It is clear that~~ Overall, while more people prefer staying on cruise ships to staying on the island in 2010, it was the island that became the more preferable at the end of the period. However, when coming together, (That is not a good phrase) there was consistent growth in the total number.

In 2010, 0.75 million visitors chose to stay on the island compared to 0.25 million people that chose (Your writing is rather repetitive.) the cruise ships. Between 2011 and 2013, the number of stay (wrong form) on the island visitors (unnatural, This is not academic writing. I think you meant "stay-on-the-island visitors. Do not use long hyphenated modifiers.) increased twofold, from 0.75 million to 1.5 million. By contrast, the figure (wrong word) for cruise-ships (wrong punctuation - no hyphen) stays fluctuated (wrong vocabulary. Read my advice about the word "fluctuate". It is seldom correct on Task 1 essays. The characteristics of "fluctuation" is not seen on this graph at all. ) and returned to the number of 2011.

From 2013 to 2015, the number of stays on the island remained unchanged, while the figure for staying on cruise ships increased from 0.5 million to 1.25 million. In the middle of the 2015 - 2016 period, the numbers of visitors staying on cruise ships and staying on the island were equal, at under 1.5 million. The number of staying on the island continued to fluctuate until rose back to 2015's figure. On the other hand, stays on cruise ships saw a 1.6 times increase at the end of the period.

Sample essay:

Essay plan:

Paragraph 1. Describe the line graph. Point out the three curves and what they measure. Do not mention any data values.

Paragraph 2. Pick out two or three significant points. This will answer the "main features" part of the task. Generally, we do not mention individual data values.

Paragraph 3. Pick out some interesting details. Include comparisons and other features.

Example (This is too long, over 220 words, but gives some ideas for phrases and sentences.)

The line graph gives the numbers of people who vacationed on a Caribbean island from 2010 to 2017. Three curves are plotted; those who stayed on the island, those who stayed on a cruise ship, and the total of all visitors.

Overall, the numbers of tourists steadily increased, so that there were three and a half times more at the end of the period compared to the beginning. Most of the increase was contributed by cruise ship passengers. Those who stayed on the island outnumbered those who came by ship for the first five years. After 2015, the opposite was true.

In detail, for the first three years between a quarter and a half million people came on a cruise ship, far less than those who stayed on the island. In 2012, for example, over 80% of the tourists had booked accommodation there, 1.25 out of 1.5 million. From 2010 to 2013, the number of tourists in hotels increased by a factor of two, from three-quarters to 1.5 million. But afterwards, it plateaued at that value, with a slight dip of a quarter million in 2016. In contrast, from 2012 to 2017, the numbers of those who came on a cruise ship went up nearly in a straight line, from 0.25 to 2 million, representing an increase of about 350 thousand each year. In 2017, the majority of island's vacationers slept on cruise ships.

Please help me with my Writing Part 1 IELTS. Thank you very much.

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions