PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY MOTIVATION LETTER

Linh Nguy?n Ðang:
Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is Nguyen Dang Linh. I am currently in 12th grade and I wish to apply for the Bachelor of Arts at the University of Melbourne.
Few years ago I came across the book Sydney yeu thuong (Beloved Sydney) written by Trung Nghia – the first Vietnamese journalist to have a press pass in Cannes Film Festival. The book is a collection of his most memorable experiences in Australia when he was still a freshman until he became a professional journalist. After reading it, I was hooked. I dreamt of being just like him one day, entering the land of kangaroos, koalas the Sydney Opera House, studying in an international environment, working with talented young people as well as famous professors from all over the world, and, most of all, having my future guaranteed.
I lost no time in choosing the Faculty of Arts for my higher education. My plan is to major in Media and Communications in order to join the media industries in the future, not only because I was inspired by Trung Nghia’s successful career but also due to my fascination in the field. At school, I particularly enjoy English language and literature. In my free time, I prefer watching movies and, afterwards, reading critics’ reviews or writing my own ones for them. Additionally, I am really keen on outdoor activities, meeting and socializing with people, especially foreigners. I believe my chosen undergraduate course will develop my skills and make the most of my possibilities. Hopefully, by the time I graduate, I have found employment so as to be eligible for admission to the Master of Arts program. It will be wonderful to bring all the precious knowledge I have obtained in Australia to apply in Vietnam.
Like many other ambitious students, I target the Group of Eight. The University of Melbourne is my ideal place to study. Indeed, I have already received an Offer of Admission to the ***, but I still want to wait for Melbourne’s response. The University of Melbourne is the best tertiary institution in Australia and among the top 40 universities in the world. People often tell me that if I want to be the best I have to learn from the best. Another attraction of Melbourne is the number of scholarships available for International students, which will certainly be a great financial support for my education.
Since my first year in the local Gifted High School, I have tried my best: studying English, gaining high grades, doing voluntary work and even undertaking a teaching assistant position, all to prepare for my future application to Australia. I may not have many an advantage like other students in major cities such as Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh. I come from so anonymous a city that learning facilities are poor and good opportunities are extremely rare here. None the less, my endeavor can make up for that. I am an eager learner, always willing to listen and improve myself. Furthermore, I have been one of the team leaders in my class for almost twelve years and never heard any complaints. I am able to demonstrate both leadership and cooperation. I am not just a dreamer. You can be sure that I am well-prepared for the intense competition among students in the University of Melbourne.
I can continue telling about my abilities and achievements, but I believe ‘Actions speak louder than words’. If I am accepted to the University of Melbourne, I will show you how far I can go, proving that you have made the right decision to choose me.
I am looking forward to your reply,
Sincerely,