Please help me with my ielts writting

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

It is believed that sharing as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world is good. However, others think that some information is too important or valuable to be shared freely. In this essay, I will talk about both views.

To begin with, sharing information in the academic world increases our knowledge about the world. In human history, our subjects like physics, math, … can’t be created by just a person. We build new theories based on the previous ones. Moreover, some information has to be shared because of its importance. For example, in covid-19, the virus is too dangerous. All countries must cooperate to investigate vaccines to reduce deaths.

On the other hand, sharing information has its own disadvantages. The competition in science, business, and the academic world – in which they have to work harder to find the solution faster than others - decreased by sharing too much knowledge. In addition, some national information can’t be shared because of its importance. The nation's secrets involve the power and safety of the whole country, so they must keep the information themselves. For instance, nuclear weapons are the power of the country which has them, they can’t be shared with other countries.

To sum up, I agree that sharing information is good, it can improve our knowledge about the world. However, some valuable ones can’t be shared freely