Please help me with my IELTS Task 2 essay

Topic: Please help me with my IELTS TASK 2 ESSAY. It tells me to discuss two views and share opinions. Please identify my mistakes. If possible, please suggest some improvements to it as well. I would really appreciate that. Thank you.

My Essay:

A number of people around the world tend to perform the same actions, without altering them. Yet, the rest supports the notion that a change is an ideal thing. However, the underlying reasons for the individual ideas might be observed.

First of all, those individuals who are content with seldom variations in the job might be the ones who enjoy working in it. Moreover, people are more likely to specialise in performing a particular job, because they may have the opportunity to deeply concentrate on their job. In addition, incentives could also effectively encourage one to hold to a single carrier for a long time. For example, with promotions and salary increments, a worker might be able to change his or her lifestyle.

In regards to the people, who wish for a change in their routine work throughout their life, are most likely to be optimistic about learning to do unfamiliar things. Apparently, they only overlook what they are doing now rather than what they would be doing in the future.
In my opinion, they often feel bored at the tasks which are assigned to them. Consequently, as soon as the new and intriguing parts of the job are learnt, it becomes tedious for them to perform the same job over and over again.

In conclusion, the former would probably remain better off in the long run, unlike the latter who cannot bear the tedium of doing a task repeatedly, as a consequence, move from one job to the other craving for something new.