Please help me with my IELTS task 2 and suggest about mark!!!

Question

Topic: Do you think it is better to send criminals to jail or let them receive education or job training? My essay: People have different views about whether or not criminals should be punished by being put into prison. In my opinion, prison is the only answer in a few situations, but in most cases, education, vocational training, and rehabilitation are better.Prison is the only answer in case of criminals who are a risk to the society, such as murderers since they cannot be made to mix with society. In the majority of cases, it is more disadvantageous when offenders are forced to go to jail. Offenders learn a lot about crime in traditional prisons and when they leave prison they tend to escalate their crime seriousness. In other words, prisons act as universities of crime, which prevent them from being a good citizen. Furthermore, the cost of running and managing prisons is often costly. Without prisons, the government would spend that money on other important matters such as education and healthcare which would ease some burden from the government’s shoulders.On the other hand, I believe education and job training are the best methods that can be used to help criminals become better citizens. First, education contributes greatly to heighten people’s intellect and to form a civilized society. Therefore, they have the second chance to recognize and reflect on their guilt, which leads them to reintegrate in the community. Secondly, the most effective way to keep people out of prison once they leave is to give them jobs skills that make them marketable employees. By providing job training, the criminals would no longer have ideas of committing crimes.In conclusion, I think the government should provide education and job training for criminals rather than send them to prison.__ Thank you for your help!

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Hello Tran Nguyen 7410

I found this essay online. The yellow sentences are identical or nearly identical to ones in your essay. Did you copy this person's sentences?

Thursday, September 16, 2010 / http://kiransielts.blogspot.com/2010/09/some-people-think-that-criminals-should.html

There are many different opinions on the best way to reduce crime. The traditional solution is to punish the criminals by putting them in prison. Some hold the view that education and job training are the long term solutions to cut crime. In my opinion, prison is the only answer in a few situations, but in most cases education, vocational training and rehabilitation are better.

Prison is the only answer in case of criminals who are a risk to the society, such as murderers. They cannot be made to mix with society. Some people also say that people would not be afraid of doing crime if fear of imprisonment is not there. But I still feel that in majority of cases, we can do without prisons.

In traditional prisons, people learn a lot about crime and so when they leave prison they will commit even more crime. In other words prisons act as universities of crime. So for petty offenders like shop-lifters and pick-pockets should be given some vocational training and education. It is a well not fact that the basic causes of crime are poverty, illiteracy and unemployment. So, if we provide education and job training then we would be removing the causes of crime. If criminals are rehabilitated by some form of employment then they would certainly not re-offend.

Furthermore, the prisons are expensive to maintain. The government can spend that money on other important matters such as education and healthcare. This would ease some burden from the government’s shoulders. The petty and minor criminals can also be employed in some community service projects after providing education and vocational training.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that we should hate the crime and not the criminal. To fight crime we should focus on the causes of crime. Education and job training help to rehabilitate the criminals. So, people who commit less serious crimes should not be sent to prison. Focus should be on reforming them.

Please help me with my IELTS task 2 and suggest about mark!!!

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